Thursday, June 01, 2006


So, it's 3:00am Wednesday morning... and I'm wide awake. It's around that time, especially on your fifth night of not sleeping, when you really start to think you're gonna lose it - not "drive to the Grand Canyon" lose it - and I certainly felt that way.

And then, I remembered.

Vicky and I had recently returned from the Bahamas, where I hadn't slept for five days or so, and I wasn't sleeping again. To my surprise, she suggested I take some melatonin. I replied, "Melatonin? Isn't that the chemical that determines skin color?" No, it's not. That's melanin.

So, we bought some and... I couldn't remember if it worked. But I did remember that we had some lying around. So, I began searching the house for the elusive bottle of melatonin.

Earlier that night - actually the previous night, Tuesday night - Vicky had seen me to bed at 9:00pm. We both went to bed... and we laid there for hours... not sleeping. I think she was watching and waiting for me to drift off. And that wasn't happening. And there we were in bed and we started talking and we talked for hours about everything and laughed and giggled - it was great. But as midnight approached, I knew I wasn't getting any sleep; I was only keeping her up. So, I went downstairs to watch a movie and let her sleep.

I found the bottle of melatonin. It read, "For help with sleeping, take one tablet." I took two. And I reclined on the sofa. And I waited.

Around 3:30am, I finally fell asleep.

Vicky woke me up at around 7:00am... and 7:15am... and 7:30am... My body wanted sleep. I stayed home from work and did just that.

By noon, with a broken computer and ants in my pants, I went for a walk. I was still tired but I was also kind of tired of sleeping. So, I thought a walk would do me good. I drove down to a park and started walking.

I thought a lot about Vicky, which isn't unusual as I often think of Vicky. For a while now, I've felt like something was lacking in our relationship, like there was an unfulfilled void there. And I realized, as I walked, just what it is. It was why I so enjoyed talking with her in bed. That is, we never talk any more. We're both so busy with our lives that we've become like strangers on a train, riding to the same destination without really saying anything.

So, I told her about that last night, about how much I'd enjoyed our conversation and how I hope we can do that more.

Last night, she was getting things ready downstairs to head upstairs for bed. I told her I'd meet her there.

And when she came up... I was fast asleep.

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