Monday, June 05, 2006

On Masochism and other hobbies...

I received a rather harsh review of my last novel, No More Blue Roses, today. I should probably explain that when I ask someone to read my novels, or when someone (rarely) asks to read them, I also request as much feedback as I can get.

Well, I got a mouthful. I've had people hate my writing before (pick any agent or publisher in the US) but I've never elicited so much anger and resentment before.

Vicky worried about me when I face rejection. What she probably doesn't realize is that I've been living with this for a couple of decades. She's new to the picture; she's only seen it for a couple of years.

So, then, why do I do this? Why do I keep writing novels and plays after all this rejection?

Those are questions I can't really answer. Masochism is the easy answer but it's not entirely true. I may ask for rejection but I don't really enjoy it. I could say that I possess the courage to continue despite the grief... if I believed I did.

The fact of the matter is that I enjoy doing it - No, not really - I have to do it! I feel these stories pushing their way out like a new life and to not put them on paper would be to deliver it still born. And, if I'm going to write, I might as well try to sell them, too. Right?

Anyway, the good news is that I probably won't feel like such a monster for some time. (Maybe "monster" is too strong a word but you didn't see the response I saw. My book was received about as well as a child tearing wings off a bird.)

Meanwhile, my friends are starting to get that look on their faces when I talk about my writing, that tired, exhausted, bored look. It's been a long road for them, too.

You can probably understand why I would never want any child Vicky and I to go into the arts.

1 comment:

Jenn from WA said...

I would agree that the harsh critism was somewhat unwarranted. You did ask for feedback, but man...that was painful even for me.

On a much brighter note, you do have talent. You can write and someone, somewhere will appreciate it. Even if you never get published, just think for a moment of your child reading some of your books. How proud that child will feel knowing that despite the odds, that child's dad wrote anyhow.