Friday, May 27, 2011

Jogging with a stranger…

Once upon a time, I used to take the edge off in the morning with a few cigarettes. Now, I take the edge off in the morning with a few miles – jogging them! What has happened to me? When did I grow up? And, crap, I think I lost my EDGE!

Okay, actually I’m not that worried. I like the way jogging makes me feel and it goes well with cycling. It’s rather surprising I’m still such a fat-ass, but I’m working on that.

This morning, I jogged five miles along the Santa Ana River Trail. The SART is a great place to jog; I’ve come to consider it my outdoor gym because I cycle there, too. Now that the sun has started coming out and spring has sprung, I don’t have to bundle up or wait until the day gets warm enough to go out. The only problem with spring springing is that the bugs of spring have sprung as well – into the air! Everywhere!

Most of my jog this morning seemed to be through a cloud of flying bugs, so many that you don’t dare open your mouth even to exhale. Eventually, most of the bugs will die off or move on as the weather turns drier and hotter… but not yet.

So, I jogged as best I could, keeping my mouth shut through a huge cloud of bugs. Sounds like fun, huh?

As I entered the last portion of my jog, a very attractive woman jogged past – which I’ll tell you up front is not that hard to do. I’m old, fat, and slow. Dig? She immediately caught my eye because she was, as previously state, very attractive. And I do not mind jogging around attractive women, even if it does make me unnaturally obsessed with my gut.

When I jog, I tend to jog in intervals. This is how they’re determined: when a fast song comes on my iPod, I jog, and when a slower song comes on my iPod, I walk. Sometimes, I get lucky and the iPod’s random setting gives me nothing but slow songs, but normally it’s 50/50 as it was today. When this woman passed me, I was slowing down. Then, I sped up and passed her. Then, I slowed down and she passed. She was doing intervals, too, as it turned out.

After a while, I realized we were both going down the same street. This was the street I always took to get back home but I couldn’t help wondering what she thought. Did she think I was following her? Stalking her?

I tried to just go about my business and not stare too much, as difficult as that was.

Every time I slowed down, she passed. When she slowed down, I passed. We did this for a couple of miles.

Then, when we reached my corner, she continued straight and I turned. I caught her head turn out of the corner of my eye, almost like, “Where are you going?” Ah, but I’m sorry. That was where I lives met and split once again.

I might jog with her again. You never know. Then, perhaps, we will be just a little less like strangers.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I honestly did not see this coming…

I went to the optometrist this week for my yearly paranoia. Optometrists give me just the opposite feeling as dentists. When I see a dentist, I experience great pain to find out everything’s okay. At the optometrist’s office, I experience no pain and hear the worst news.

This time, after he checked my eyes out, he gave an irresolute shake of his head and said, “I’m not sure what we can do.”

Those aren’t words you want to hear from any doctor.

Turns out my eyes have started the downward slide I’d always feared and felt I had always been slightly putting off. The thing is my eyes suck. They always have. If you have an eye condition in mind, chances are I have it or have had it.

Oh, they’re healthy. He always tells me that, “Your eyes are healthy…” And then he adds, “But…”

It turns out my eyes are a bit schizophrenic. The vision in my right eye is diminishing as my left eye dominates. I’m going blind in my right eye. When the doctor tries to make me able to see through that eye, with glasses, the vision in my left eye actually gets worse. “It’s as if your left eye doesn’t want your right eye to see.”

Now, I’ve never had any Oedipal issues that I know about but I personally like seeing out of my right eye. It makes 3D so much more enjoyable.

Jokes aside, it kind of shook me, knowing that my best days of vision are long past.

The supreme joke here is what’s killing my vision the most is what I do. As my doctor put it, “If we could get you to not look at computer screens or read, your vision would probably improve.” Irony, you’re a bitch.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Incarnations of Death - now available for all e-readers...

Death can never be defeated and when Robert Erwon Mitchel does just that he sets off a chain of events that give birth to a new breed of superheroes. Now it is up to these heroes - Night Stalker, Fade, and Force - to find a way to stop the insane replacement for Death, one who can wipe out entire cities at a whim and who is hunting down the scientist who killed his predecessor!

Find out what happens in The Incarnations of Death! Now available for all e-readers through:
Amazon for your Kindle
Smashwords for all e-readers
and wherever fine e-books are sold!

Friday, May 13, 2011

New job, Odd Job…

With the week ended, it’s time for me to catch up on goings on and other goings otherwise.

As you may know, I have found a new job that proves to be as fulfilling as it is not likely to make me rich. Here’s the scoop: I’m working part time with hours varying around the 20 hour mark writing educational material and marketing it as well. The material specializes in the education and treatment of special needs children. That’s where the fulfillment part comes in. The lack of riches, well, you can see that in the amount of hours I’m working.

The nice thing about this job is my new employer knows about my writing career. (I use the term “career” very loosely.) She knows I’m a writer and supports me in that endeavor. There’s no hiding it and nobody’s suggesting that I can’t do a proper job if I’m also pursuing a writing career. If anything, the only way being a writer has become a liability is that every time she thinks of something that needs writing she says, “Oh, you’re a writer, aren’t you?” But I can’t complain because that could turn into more hours and more money.

There is one more odd thing I want to share. After applying at just about every grocery store, department store, and other entry level job I could think of – you know, anything for an income – none of them have called. None of them. I don’t know if this is because they see me as too qualified or if they see me as too old. Is it an insult or a compliment? I know it’s like asking why the ugly girl didn’t ask me to the dance – I should be grateful – but I still wonder why I wasn’t asked.

Hopefully, this job will last a while. The plan is to give it six months. If everything works out as planned, it could keep up far longer than that. With all the things in the works for my writing career (again, very loosely defined)(and you’ll have to check out the Ken La Salle blog for that), I may stop much sooner and for very good reasons. Let’s hope so.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Rohan Scripts e-book now available…

The Rohan Scripts, Ken La Salle’s new novella about time travel and thrills, psychics and scientists, is now available for Kindle, iBook, Nook, and all e-readers for the very low price of just $2.99!

Get yours now! You can find it on You can also find it at Smashwords. And you can find it wherever find e-books are sold. (If it's not solf there, the other books are not fine!)

The Prophesies of Nicoli Rohano, THE ROHAN SCRIPTS, were the stuff of legend for their uncanny accuracy and were all but lost to history… until now!

THE ROHAN SCRIPTS, the latest sci-fi adventure from Ken La Salle, brings you psychics and scientists, assassination plots and time paradox, with a single man flung through time and recording everything into a book of prognostication called: THE ROHAN SCRIPTS!

When the fabled ROHAN SCRIPTS mysteriously appear, they plunge a group of psychics headlong into the vortex of time. Working with physicist, Harris Feller, the psychics use the Rohan Scripts to create a prophesied time machine and when they use it the incredible energies and paradoxes of time travel reach into the past with an icy precision to snatch Nicoli Rohano and send him flinging through time. Now psychics and physicists alike must use the talents and devices at their disposal on an adventure through time itself to save the one man who can tell them how to make it all end with a book he is foretold to write, THE ROHAN SCRIPTS!

Monday, May 09, 2011

My Saturday – and, yes, I got a job…

Saturday morning began with an easy-peasy visit to the OC Food Bank. The idea was to volunteer just a couple of hours helping pack boxes of food before going to a job interview I had scheduled for later in the day.

The food-packing was coordinated just like an assembly line. There were pallets of several kinds of food on each side and box would come down the line to pack the food in. So, one person would pack a jar of peanut butter from a pallet. Then, one person would pack a bag of rice, etc. etc. etc. It was pretty easy. People were even chilly from the morning and wore coats.

The box would go to the end of the line, get taped shut and then one person would take the 10-ish pound box and stack them on a pallet. That one person was me. While everyone else was lifting just a few ounces, I moved 10-ish pound boxes all morning long. I was sweating so hard after a while, it was clear I was the only one working – but, here’s the thing, nobody helped me out. This was mostly because I was the only muscular guy – but they didn’t even slow down! They were going at a furious pace! In the two hours we were there, I moved over 140 of those boxes!

Cut to the end and I’m sweaty and tired and even banged up quite a bit… and I still have a job interview to go to! I was tempted to call it off except that the woman I was meeting with had been kind enough to take time out of her Saturday… so, I went.

As tired as I was, I wasn’t at the top of my game. I didn’t even look particularly good. I figured I would simply apologize and explain what had happened and ride it out – so imagine my surprise when it didn’t seem to affect the direction the interview went in! Woody Allen famously said that 80% of success is showing up – well, I showed up and was offered the job.

The job is about a six-month contract, so far as we know. It may go on longer but that’s the minimum. I’ll be writing as well as using my marketing management skills so, at the very least, this should be very good for my resume. The best parts, though, are two-fold. First, I’ll be working on developing and marketing courses for parents of children with Autism, helping them help their children. I feel really good about that. Second, my new boss knows about and supports my efforts as a writer. Unlike previous jobs, this won’t require me to live a double-life quite so much.

I start Tuesday and I’m looking forward to it. It’s been a while since I made any money and I want to get the ball rolling.

After all this happened, Vicky and Jeff and I went up to Hollyweird to see my new show. You can read more about that on the Ken La Salle blog

Thursday, May 05, 2011

New Writing Gig: Recovering The Self...

I start a new writing gig this week, guest blogging each month for the Recovering The Self site.

Recovering The Self, as you might know, is the magazing that published my piece last year called Little Victories. Now, I'll be appearing over there each month with new words on the journey of making your dreams come true.

This month's piece is on learning to say "YES". I hope you enjoy it.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

And the people cheered…

There’s been a lot of cheering today about the death of Osama bin Laden. On Facebook, Twitter, and in the news, a lot of people are very happy.

And that concerns me.

Justice is a very different thing from relishing in the death of a man. No matter if you believe Osama had anything to do with 9/11 or not, he was a criminal wanted by the United States and the United States had a mission to bring him to justice. They did that today. That mission is over.

But should we gloat and cheer over the death of a man? In a supposedly “Christian” nation, is this was Jesus would do? Is it what Buddha would suggest? I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of any single religion that would advise in this activity. As an athiest, I'm used to calling "hypocrite" but it pains me to do so today.

Cheering about the death of a man is worse than base. It is revolting. We should never revel in blood. Rather, we should kill only when necessary and then never cheer about death.

What kind of people are we that murder is so much fun and, as I’m sure will happen, people will take offense at the suggest that it shouldn’t be? We should be ashamed of ourselves.

But I don’t think we will be. Not at all.