Friday, May 12, 2006

Shopping at the beginning of the 21st Century...

When I left the house this morning, there wasn't any food. Nothing. Well, nothing I wanted to eat, at least. See, things have been crazy at home lately and we just haven't had an opportunity to keep things up like normal. So, when I left, after hitting the gym this morning (and, of course, hurting myself - but let's not talk about that), I was hungry. Hungry!

I got about half-way to work when I realized I'd be passing a Taco Smell, not my favorite place for breakfast but, again, I was hungry.

And, I was broke.

But then, I noticed an Albertson's supermarket with a sign that said there was an ATM inside. So, I stopped and went in. (I could have used my ATM card at Taco Hell but they would have charged a surcharge... and I'm cheap.)

God, do I miss "grocery stores". Do you remember them, those quaint, old relics of the 20th century? Stores where people sold you food. Think hard - remember them now?

Well, they're gone, folks. Fucking gone.

I walked into the store and the first thing that struck me was the lack of employees. The place was positively barren - of people, at least. Gnomes had come in overnight to stock the shelves. Checkout was done by computer. Oh well, it didn't matter to me. I just wanted the ATM.

I walked up, fed it my card, punched my buttons, the display said, "You transaction is being processed", and then it spit my card back at me without so much as a "Thank you" or, more importantly, my cash!

(NOTE: I checked with my bank. The crappy ATM machine didn't take any money from my account, at least.)


Now, I was looking for an employee because something was wrong with the ATM. But, of course, no one was there.

A woman was checking herself out on a computer. She asked, "Are you looking for some help?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, I haven't seen anyone here except you."

Great.

But there had to be someone! I didn't want to have to drive to the gas station and eat - gasp! - gas station food!

So, I waited.

Nobody.

I walked around.

Nobody.

I walked back. The only person I saw was the woman, still ringing up her own groceries. "Nobody?" she asked.

"Nobody," I said. "I think the only way I'll get help is if I knock down a display." Several displays lined - well, everything - selling poorly animated children's films. But I didn't want to do that.

So, I left... and ate gas station food.

2 comments:

Jenn from WA said...

Thanks for the deposit from that "crappy ATM". I needed the cash this weekend. = )

What? Your company doesn't have a cafeteria in it?

Tony said...

Ken,

Interesting observations. You are to blame, by the way.
Your voting habits have caused this. This is the end result of the "progressive" agenda. Destroy big businesses. Bleed them dry with Union benefits so that they can no longer afford to hire somebody to be there to help you when the ATM Machine is broken.

Welcome to the world you have created. :)