Friday, February 29, 2008

Our bed is not above Murphy’s Law…

As Tim used to tell me, “Murphy was an Optimist”. (Actually, he had a huge poster on his wall that said that – along with every variation of Murphy’s Law you could want to know.) I was struck by the irony of the law this morning when I received an email about… condoms…

Yes. Condoms. I’m subscribed to a Green email newsletter called Idea Bite. Every day, I’m sent some new way to go green and today’s email was on the subject of condoms. Turns out condoms can be green – no, not just the color – by being made of bio-degradable, vegan (no less) latex and not polyurethane. Of course. That makes sense.

And it’s completely useless information, considering that the last thing I was to do is keep my sperm… um… contained.

I have come to… no, wait, arrived at the realization that Vicky and I are fighting an uphill battle against Murphy’s Law in trying to get pregnant. I promise you, if we were teenagers without jobs who didn’t want to get pregnant we wouldn’t even need to have sex! They say condoms are only 99% effective for just this reason! Because, somehow, sperm and eggs know when your life situation makes it horrible timing to become pregnant, get knocked up, put a bun in the oven, etc., and this is when they do it! Because they have incredible timing and a sense of humor you wouldn’t believe!

Meanwhile, over here, there’s Vicky and me. Employed. Married. Wanting a child. With a house. You know… READY.

I’m thinking the only way it will happen is if I lose my job (again!), we burn down the house, Vicky becomes my sister, and I drop out of high school.

… we’ll work on that this weekend.

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