Out… and down…

I threw my back out Sunday night. People have been asking me how and I’ve been too embarrassed to say.

I threw my back out by getting a massage.

Yes, you heard me right. And yes, those are supposed to make your back feel better. And yes, I know that’s weird!

But, sure enough, within a couple hours of us leaving Burke Williams, my back was bending in ways it was never designed to bend… and I could tell, because it HURT! Vicky applied Tiger Balm, which made it hurt and burn. (I’m still wondering who the genius was who invented that shit…) So, I was up most of the night.

Did I tell you about how vomity I was on Saturday? So, after two bad days in a row, Monday came along and I took my pretzelled spine and called in sick. I spent the rest of the day sleeping, trying to avoid the pain.

Three days.

This morning, I woke up all bent up and picked up my sorry ass and got it (along with the rest of me) ready for work. Driving with a bad back is really no fun… and worse when your right front tire explodes. But there it went, sending smoke up in the air in a way I hadn’t seen outside of a movie. I didn’t have much of a chance to enjoy it. I was going nearly 80 and my car suddenly decided it wanted to go right… NOW! Thankfully, there were no cars to my right. Sadly, the freeway had no shoulder. So, I got off the freeway, parked, extricated myself from my car (blame my broken back), walked around the back of it, got to the passengers’ side… and the tire was still smoking. Donde los yikes!

About half and hour later, I was back on the road, driving on what Vicky calls my “donut” but I like to call my spare bicycle tire… Surely, the whole week can’t be this way.

Normally, I’d stop here at my rueful punchline, but I also thought I’d say a few words on this Sept. 11th. On an anniversary in which we should be honoring the value of human life, Shrub is again convincing everyone that we need to kill more Iraqis. You remember the Iraqis, right, those people who NEVER ATTACKED US. I can’t help but this of this as a brutal dishonor to those innocent who died six years ago, that we should commemorate it by killing more innocents. And for those of you who say Bush’s plan is not working, that his polling numbers are too low. Think again. He doesn’t play that game. He doesn’t care about the Americans or the Iraqis. But shouldn’t you?