Insomni… um…

Once again, I’m awake… and I’d rather not be…

Sleep and I aren’t the best of friends.

Sleep and I have issues.

Like, for instance, have you ever noticed that sleep will sometimes say it’s going out to the store to pick up a snack and it takes over an hour and it won’t answer its cell and then it comes back with a small bag of chips, like the kind they sell at the gas station, and you say, “So, Sleep, what took you so long?” And Sleep says, “What do you mean? I was just, ah, going to the store. Ah, that’s it. The store.” And you say, “Then how come you didn’t get any salsa? How come you didn’t pick up any dip?” And Sleep says, “Well, you know, I could find any.” And you say, “At the store?” And Sleep says, “Yes, at the store.” And you say, “So, you’re telling me you were at the store for an hour and you couldn’t find salsa? At the store?” And Sleep says, “Well, there was traffic.” “Traffic,” you shout. “You were only supposed to go two blocks!” And Sleep says, “Yeah, well, I got lost.” And you shout, “My ass! And what’s that smell on you, anyway?! I’ll tell you what it is! It’s jizz, bitch! You’ve been at that club downtown where all the men go and…”

… anyway, I’m awake again…