Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thankful… ness…

So, it’s early Wednesday morning and I’m sitting in my office. I’m thinking I want to write a blog about what I’m thankful for this year… which I’m sure some of you may consider trite, but I don’t care!

Remember, it was just a year ago that I had been unemployed for three months and we had to lie to Vicky’s parents and tell them I was still working even though the odds of us losing our home were getting higher and higher. (Point of fact: Vicky lied. I didn’t find out she had until after she did. We didn’t really need to lie to her parents, either… Vicky!) Anyway, things were getting worse and didn’t look like they’d get any better. Last year, I was very thankful for Vicky, for her support and being there for me and believing in me.

This year, I have a good job, I’ve done a lot of writing, I’m in pretty good health (surprisingly) – things have really turned around.

I have a lot to be thankful for…. such as ending sentences with prepositions, though I hate to… and, yes, that was ironic… I don’t normally – On with the list!

Thankfulositinessment 2007

I’m thankful for Vicky, who would probably smack me if I didn’t put her first. I am thankful for her understanding and patience and humor and soul… even when she’s a bitch.

I’m thankful for my dad being alive.

I’m thankful for my mom and Keith and Audrey, and how my dad’s illness seems to have woken them about their complacency. It looks like the whole episode is moving them to leave all the past injustices (real and imagined) committed by my dad long behind.

I’m thankful for Richard, who was there in Arizona with smokes.

I’m thankful for Blanche, who is much more than a step-mom to me.

I’m thankful for my new family, Steve, Noriko, and Mike.

I’m thankful for having a job with an office where I can flake and write and do interesting work every day… well, every other day.

I’m thankful for Climbing Maya, which helped me find success while also letting me let go of some things. I’m thankful for Wormfood, the greatest horror novel of all time. I’m thankful for Daughter of a One-Armed Man, which may already be a bit dated but I like it anyway.

I’m thankful for the fine support people at Blizzard, who have worked so hard on Wireless-N compatibility with World of Warcraft… oh wait… no, they SUCK.

I’m thankful that the sleepwalking, hallucinations, nightmares, and other assorted mental weirdnesses have been quiet for a while. Let’s make it another 50 years…

And as self-indulgent as it might sound, I’m thankful for me. People I know tend to have a lot of faith in me, a lot more than I have in myself, but I am not doing too badly so maybe I should believe them on occasion. I hardly ever smoke or drink anymore. I work weights and jog regularly. I eat better. I’m taking care of myself for the first time in a very long time and maybe that comes from finally finding the ability to love myself, if only a little. This body, this mind, this life – I am thankful for that.

Some people say you can’t be thankful without believing in God, so that as an atheist I am somehow not allowed. But when I give thanks, I prefer not to give it to an imaginary being. I give my thanks to Vicky, to my dad and mom and brothers and sister and to Blanche, to Steve, Noriko, and Mike, to my friends, to my books, and even to myself. And why not?

Here’s hoping you can find something to be thankful for and thankful to – and not kill any Indians… if you can help it… I’m sure they’d appreciate that.

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