Monday, November 19, 2007

Flat-lining…

If I told you that the result of my dad’s recovery (thus far) is that I’m flat lining, would you even believe me?

Perhaps I should give you some insight on how my mind works… maybe that would help. Here’s a look at how my mornings usually work:
9 – 9:20. Work
9:20 – 9:35. Write
9:35 – 9:55. Work
9:55 – 10. Write
10 – 10:30. Meeting
10:30 – 10:40. Write
10:40 – 11. Work


This is a sample of the rhythm of my day. Most people usually space out, chat, surf the web or something else in those few minutes before working on things. I write. I can hammer out a page in ten minutes and pick up that thought hours later to put down another page. It’s just how my mind usually works. I’ve become an expert at multi-multi-tasking, working on several projects at once, considering what to put on the blog, thinking about the new book, preparing how I’m going to sell the next one (or attempt to sell it), and on and on… usually.

But that’s all changed and not only do I not know what to do with myself… I don’t care much. Let’s face it, I’ve worked hard this year and have a library of material to sell as a result. (Publishers? Are you listening?) I can afford to take some time off!

I guess it’s just that I’m so unaccustomed to it that makes me concerned.

I had mentally prepared myself for my father’s death. I said my Goodbye. I informed the other side of my family. But then, the doctors started doing their jobs and found what was killing him. At least, we hope so. Now, he’s back home. He’s getting better.

I think I was just at such a heightened state of readiness, waiting for the shock of his death, that even though it didn’t come I’m still recovering. I didn’t feel the impact I’d braced myself for but I think I threw a mental muscle as I braced myself.

So, what am I doing during this period of… well, normality? I’m doing what other people do. I’m spacing out. I’m chatting. The web is my friend. Before too long, things will return to normal and I’ll be pounding out the end of the new book and the beginning of the next.

As strange as it might sound, I’m rather enjoying this. This kind of flat lining ain’t that bad. I hope my dad avoids the other kind for a long, long time.

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