Hitting the gym…

So, I had the day off today but I didn’t want that to stop me from (insert subject line here).

We have one pretty close to home, so I got ready and drove on over. As I parked, I noticed a fire engine near the front door. This can’t be good. But I walked up, anyway. As I did, a huge 99 Cent Store (is it just me or is the symbol for “cent” inordinately difficult to find in Word?) pulled up in front of me, blocking my path. Fine, I thought, I’ll just walk around. As I approached the gym, an employee told me, “You can’t go in. They’ve evacuated the building.” Seriously, why would anyone evacuate a gym? (Massive fart?)

But I am too stubborn to listen to portents; I went to the next gym near us.

Back on the treadmill, I set the speed for 4.6 mph and began jogging. Is it just me or wouldn’t it make sense to turn all these things into generators? I mean, wouldn’t it at least light up the gym, saving a little juice?

On the bank of TVs (we could power the TVs, for sure!), four out of ten (that’s 50% for those counting) were set to Faux News. If my “24 hour” membership wasn’t so cheap, I’d switch – republican fascist bastards. So, I had no choice but to watch Faux News.

First up, they had Pat Boone on as “Pat Boone: Über Patriot”. Sure, Pat Boone, pitch man for Wal-Mart. That’s some kind of patriotism, Pat… not the good kind, mind you.

They had John Edwards on the beach in California, where the only way to celebrate America’s freedom from the tyranny of Imperialist Robber Barons (as opposed to modern, multi-national, robber barons, which are seemingly A-OK in our book) was to eat beef. And lots of it. Beef and beef and beef – at 9am! Because that’s what we do out here in California when we’re at the beach, we eat beef!

Next, on the Mike & Juliet Show – super whites with their super pure super right-wing patriotism – they brought on last season’s American Idols. Apparently, one just isn’t enough any more. When they got to Sanjaya, I was surprised to see (and I know I shouldn’t have been) that he brought “the crying girl” with him – and she was crying, of course. And he sang to her. And she cried.

No wonder nobody reads any more. This is what passes for entertainment.

Through this all, they reported repeatedly on a story that Al Gore’s son was arrested on a suspected possession of drugs charge. (And isn't that handy during the outrage over Shrub's immoral commutation of Libby's sentence?) No mention was made of what kinds of drugs or how serious this charge is – or how real – but they made sure to tell us that Al Gore cannot be trusted thanks to his no good son. It’s a spin on the “sins of the fathers” metaphor. If you remember your Euripides, he said, “The gods visit the sins of the fathers upon the children.” Well, the people at Faux News think it works the other way in Al Gore’s case. Actually, they think anything they want in Al Gore’s case – they seem to hate him so much. I have to warn you Murdockians, though, that application of such a rule plays out in both directions when you talk about Shrub and his kin. Not only is the President a crook but so is his family, both ways. Do I think the sins of the father or son visit themselves on the parent or child? Do I think that because the Bush family is riddled with lice that Gore’s is as well? No, not at all. Which is why I think they’re crazy to even suggest it.

Anyway, I put in 60 minutes at 4.6 mph – but it’s a hilly course so I only ended up doing 3 1/3 miles. I would really like to reach 3 ½ miles. That would be nice. Let’s see if I can do it without hurting myself…

(More to come, no doubt.)