I want to tell you about two very different episodes from this weekend.
The first began on Sunday morning – and when I say “morning”, I mean it – it was 1:00am! Suki was scratching at the door, which she usually does when she needs to go out. I, being the good puppy poppy, got up from my deep slumber, got dressed, and said, “Okay, let’s go.” I went downstairs, now wide away… and Suki stayed in the bedroom. The little mutt even took my side of the bed. Who has who trained???
After I went back to sleep, I experienced the strangest dream. It was one of those hyper-real dreams and it had me off for the rest of the day. Vicky was offered membership to a very exclusive club. I couldn’t get in because I didn’t have my degree. But, Vicky talked them into letting me in as well and, as she was let in, I had to fill out a stack of forms. After a while, though, they let me in. The club was enormous, filling this vast network of buildings and Vicky, of course, was nowhere to be found. So, I began searching for her, crossing room after room and building after building.
It was a very permissive club; you could do pretty much anything you wanted. I crossed rooms where people were having all kinds of weird sex, engaging is all kinds of strange activities, but I didn’t stop. I was looking for Vicky. She had mentioned that we would meet at the bar – but I couldn’t find the bar. Strangely, the further into the building I went, the laws of physics became something to be ignored. I found a woman would could ball herself up like silly putty and bounce herself off the wall. Hallways went in strange directions.
Finally, I passed an employee and mentioned I was looking for Vicky. He was pulling out a cabinet drawer and stepping into it. “I can show you, but you’ll have to come with me first.” He pushed back the back of the drawer and began to move forward.
“No,” I said, cautiously. “I’ll wait.”
“Okay,” he said. “Then, I won’t tell you about Rosa.”
At this point, I woke up a little and thought: How would this guy know about Rosa? I must be dreaming. I should follow him and find out what happens next. “Okay,” I said. “I’ll go with you.” I stepped into the drawer, pushed back the back, which opened into another room, and began to crawl through. Suddenly, the drawer began to bounce furiously up and down, making it impossible to move forward – Suki was bouncing in the drawer! Suki, stop it, I thought – but it was too late.
I was yanked out of the dream and found Suki bouncing around on the bed. Stupid dog.
But the dream had seemed to real that I went downstairs, extra happy to see my wife there. I held her close and said, “I missed you.”
“I didn’t go anywhere,” she said. Little did she know.
Vicky and I have a very different sense of romance. We also have a very different sense of taco sauce.
I am infamous for taking extra taco sauce packets from fast food joints, especially Taco Bell. And I don’t just take a couple extra – I take mounds! Vicky thought we could just buy the little bottles they sell at the store but she forgot that my reason for eating burritos (which I love) is to serve as a holder for taco sauce. I use a TON of taco sauce. One of those little bottles can go in a week!
What to do? Well, I suggested we just hit Taco Bell again and grab a few thousand packets. Vicky, however, had another idea.
She found the recipe – the actual recipe for the stuff – and made it at home. She made me taco sauce! And it tastes better than the stuff in the packets!!!
Is taco sauce romance? Probably not. But I’m thinking that romance is somewhere between that and dreams of crawling through cabinet drawers. Somewhere in there romance lies.