Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A moment for Dem…s…

Vicky and I watched the AFL-CIO Democratic Forum last night…

… yes, people do that.

I wanted to watch it because I grew up the child of a union member and I know how much they helped us. So, I’ve always been strongly pro-union. Vicky watched it because… well, there was no way I was turning the channel, so…

I thought I’d say a word or two about what went on, just off the top of my head. I normally come across very anti-Republican, which I am, but I don’t want you to think that makes me pro-Democrat, either. I left the Democratic party for reasons that still exist and when they start caring more about people than political gain, I’ll rejoin the party. Sure, Dems won’t slice up your mom and fuck the pieces for fun, like Republicans… but they’ll think about it if it’ll get them in office.

The Forum was moderated by Keith Olbermann, another reason I had to watch it, and attended by all the Democratic hopefuls. They’d lost one guy, Mike Gravel, and it’s sad to see him gone. He was one of the few honest people in the field. He might not think he’s gone but… he’s gone. So, let’s go through the candidates one by one…

Hillary. Let’s start with the apparent front-runner. She’s certainly behaving like the front-runner, tactfully interceding in in-fights, doling out presidential wisdom. But here’s the thing. She can’t win the Presidential election. If she becomes the Democratic Candidate, it will be about the presidential erection. I’m not saying that’s a good thing; in fact, it sucks. But that’s how Republicans play and we know that.

Obama. Where to start? I can’t begin to guess why he is so loathed by Republicans – you know, aside from being a wise black man, something can no more understand than a moral gay man. Yes, they exist, too. I wish he’d done better last night but he’s too easy put on defense and doesn’t have his talking points down. Does he have time for that? Ordinarily, sure. But not when the primary season begins this early. He needs to get strong NOW. He could be a great president… but, again, nobody’s going to vote for him. Why? Because America does not elect a black man. Call me cynical but it’s true and the Repugs are going to get repugnant and we know that.

Edwards. The perfect vice-president. I’m sure he’s a good man. I’m sure he’s a worthy man. I’m sure he’d do a fine job. But he was a vice-presidential candidate and they just don’t win after that. I’m talking about vice-presidential candidates here, not former vice-presidents. (More on that later.)

Biden. His hour was up in 1988. Sorry. I think he’s worked hard for the country but this isn’t a job you get because you deserve it. He’s an effective Senator and he should stay there.

Dodd. Dodd sounds odd, and too much like "doddering"… as in “old fool”. Just like you don’t name your son, Bate, Dick, or Booger, you have to be careful about who you nominate.

Richardson. Good name… can someone shut him the hell up? This guy stuck to his time ONCE in the whole night. He’s fucking annoying. Shut him the hell up!!!

Kucinich. Probably the only Democrat running. Here’s a man with brains, with honor, with integrity, and with the right answers. A good man with a good heart, well spoken and ready to take on any challenge that comes his way. Too bad nobody’s going to vote for him because he’s short.

… which leaves us with… nobody.

Well, maybe not nobody. Maybe Al Gore will get off his whiny, little ass and step up! Maybe he’ll realize that this is his last chance to fucking help the country out of the horrible quagmire the guy who stole his job got us into. He could win on a weekend. He could nominate Obama as his VP, so Obama is ready to sweep it in eight years. Maybe he’ll fucking do that!

But he better not nominate Leiberman again or, so help me, I will fucking sock him! (Which means I will grind him down until his remains fit in a four year old's sock.)

Yeah. And maybe we should start getting our moms ready for the Republicans…

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