There will be an official welcome later… honestly… once I get some breakfast and play some World of Warcraft…
For now, let me take you to last night – inside my head – in one of my dreams…
The time: Sometime later on.
The place: I’ll get to that.
The era: Stop asking so many stupid questions!!
So, Vicky’s very pregnant and suddenly, while we’re at the mall with Sean, starts feeling contractions. “It’s time,” she tells me. Sean and I rush her over to the car and start driving… but traffic is terrible…
We stop the car and get on a scooter but there are so many damned scooters…
We get off the scooter and switch to a bike – ach, but all the bikes…
We get off the bike and get on – don’t ask me why – an escalator… the crowds push their way in and I block them as I tell Sean to make sure Vicky gets to the hospital. “Take care of her,” I tell Sean as they disappear up another escalator. (No, seriously. There were a shitload of ‘em.)
Later, I make it to the hospital…
“False alarm,” Vicky tells me.
This is too bad and I’ve built up an appetite, holding back the crowds.
“We already ate,” Vicky says.
“We went to Cheap King,” Sean tells me, “which is like Burger King but it’s cheap. Actually, it’s like 29 Cent Hamburger.” That was a chain of restaurants, years ago, that sold burgers for – you guessed it – 29 cents.
“Really?” I asked. “How much were the burgers?”
Sean replied dryly, “Somewhere between 28 and 30 cents.”
Great. So, I figure that by the time I become a father, I’m going to need as much help as I can get – what with being so dumb and fighting all the crowds and traveling on escalators and whatnot…
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