Believe me. We’re usually very responsible with our money. Honest.
So, here’s the thing. Vicky asked for one thing for her birthday, back on April 13. A camera. A bloody fucking expensive camera. The kind of camera where you want to yell “Bitch, I ain’t no fuckionnaire! Get your own damn camera!”… but you don’t because you realize your lack of a job means you should probably be nice to the wife who is being so supportive… or, at least, keep saying “Later. Later. Later.”
But there’s a problem with that strategy. Later often comes.
Gotta remember next time to say, “Next husband. After I die.”
But then, an odd combination of things happened. I got this crappy, poopie, shit job and thought, “Hell, if I’m making this money, I’m gonna spend it!” And then, I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a Blu-Ray player. We haven’t really bought anything new for the house since last year. It’s been a while. We deserve it. (And, anyway, I needed something to help me forget what a shithole I work in…)
It started at 3pm, when we put Suki in for grooming. We headed over to Circuit City and found out that Vicky’s camera was on sale… for $850!!!! I asked to see the Blu-Ray players and the salesman said, “If you’re wanting a Blu-Ray player, you should probably just get a PS3. That’s like having a Blu-Ray player and game machine all in one.” I thought, “Sure. Sure. Keep trying to sell.” Their Blu-Ray player was $399.
But we came to our senses and left. Anyway, their display camera was broken and, if Vicky was going to buy it, she wanted to check it out first. So, we headed across the street to La Curacao, which is a difficult store to go to with your wife because you’re surrounded by young, latina chicks with tight tops… their Blu-Ray player was $499! On to Costco, we went. They didn’t have the camera… or a Blu-Ray player… but they did have a PS3 bundle… for 499!!! Yikes!
But wait… if the PS3 bundle was $499…
After we got home with Suki, I checked the Internet(s) and… took Vicky back out to look at cameras… Another Circuit City didn’t even have a display model – but they found us one that did – in Irvine… geez, this was getting involved. But I had an ulterior motive!
In Irvine, they had a working display model as well as a young salesperson who wasn’t a dick – that’s harder to find that you might realize. So, we got the camera ($850!), a battery pack ($50!), a memory card ($20!), a bag ($43!), a 4-year protection plan (that included yearly cleaning - $220!)… and a PS3, because why not get a Blu-Ray player with a game machine included? ($399!), a remote ($25! – and how fucked up is it that you have to buy the remote???), and a game, cause, you know ($40!), and walked out spending more money that we had… oh… in a very, very long time.
So, Happy Birthday, Vicky. I was only two months late but I did it… and got a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for me.