Fair and balanced…

Probably not what you’re thinking – though there is a bit about Faux Noose.

It seems strange to me that the politically right-leaning (wackos) are so afraid of the fairness doctrine. After all, aren’t they supposed to be… fair…?

Mind you, the fairness doctrine no longer exists… in case you couldn’t tell… If you couldn’t, you really worry me.

As for balanced, well that goes back to the bedroom and a little more information about Vicky and me than you probably want to know.

(Cue the “Bow Chika Bow Bow” music…)

I tend to be the first one to rise in the morning…. No, wait. Actually, I tend to have the alarm that goes off first – my awakening has little to do with that. Some mornings, I catch the alarm shortly after it starts. Other mornings… say today… the alarm was going off for several minutes before Vicky (who functions as my secondary alarm) blew up, screaming, “WILL YOU TURN OFF YOUR GOD-DAMNED ALARM OR DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU?!?!”

I, judiciously, turned off the alarm.

See, Vicky is just the opposite. She smacks her alarm so fast I wonder if she actually lies awake, waiting for the – first – hint - - of - - - BAMMMM! She really a great hunter when she sleeps; it’s no wonder our cat, Harley, likes to stay close. She’s learning from a master!

Meanwhile, my alarm can go off for 15 minutes, 20 minutes, half an hour – until Vicky finally beats me senseless to wake me up.

The way I figure, it all balances out.