Sometimes, I get the feeling that there are two Vickys in there. There’s the one she wants everyone to see, and that’s the controlling, controlled, practical, and practiced Vicky. This Vicky serves her well and has helped her through the years. Then, there’s the other Vicky. I don’t get to see it very often because, I think, she probably feels it best to keep it hidden away for protection.
But I think that Vicky will come out a lot more once we have a baby. This is a gut feeling but I believe she won’t need to protect that second Vicky from a baby and will show it more. Who is this second Vicky? I got to see it for a few moments this weekend.
Saturday morning, Vicky and I went down to Seal Beach for a bit of breakfast. Okay, honestly, we probably could have picked a better place to eat. The spot we chose wasn’t the worst in the world but it wasn’t the best, either. Anyway, we had made our choice and we stuck to it – all in all, it was a 6. But that’s okay, because it was what we had planned for after that I was looking forward to. Together, we walked down to the beach, crossed the sand, and walked on the solid part of the shore where the tide leaves the ground firm and wet.
We were on the beach at low tide, and it was pretty low. I got to see Vicky’s eyes light up at the wonder of something we didn’t often experience, and at the children playing, and at all the birds. We held hands as we walked and talked about a lot of nothing. (The “nothing” for this weekend was getting A Grand Canyon ready for purchase.)
Suddenly, Vicky saw a starfish wash ashore. She picked it up and looked at it and, discerning that it was still alive, flung it back into the water. You gotta love someone who cares about starfish.
Then, we started watching the fish out in the water. This was a first for my adult life. We actually saw fish jumping up out of the water – at Seal Beach! It was amazing! (Who would have thought anything could live in that water?) We watched as dozens of fish leapt and cavorted… and then we watched the pelicans making dives at them. So, a little nature still exists out there… surprisingly!
For all of our busy, day to day, structure and goal-driven craziness, my favorite times with Vicky are these, when I can hold hands and walk together and I can see that smiling (dare I say “innocent”?) look in her eyes when she knows she is loved and can let down her guard for just a second.