Decades…

So, I went into the clinic today to get my blood work done… bear with me…

The place opened at 8am and, though I arrived at 8:10, I was fifth in line. I was just behind this woman (who I saw from her sign-in info was born in 1920!) with a walker who wobbled like a Scalia being questioned on ethics. She obviously needed to sit down but she waited patiently for her turn. Then, this bitch at the counter kept making her wait. It looked like this was going to be her last day. She even asked, “Can I sit down while I wait?” And the bitch said, “It’s only going to be a few more minutes!” So, I pretty much hated her.

I was called into a room, a while later, with three dental chairs and one phlebotomist. He circled us one by one, swabbing, prodding, and poking. After he swabbed my arm, I thought that this was the point where the usually tell you, “Now, this is going to pinch a bit.” I knew that once he said, “Now, this is going to pinch a bit,” I would get the needle. He came back to me – I waited for him to speak – and he jammed a needle deep into my arm! With no warning, I flinched – and he slammed my elbow down with his other hand… let’s just say, he wasn’t gentle. When he was done, he put a cotton ball on my arm and said, “Now hold this down or it’s really gonna bleed.” Oh, thanks.

Then, they gave me a large cup and said, “There’s a bathroom at the end of the hall.” I supposed they wanted a urine sample.

… But I didn’t need to go!

The worst thing, though, was the size of the cup. You could fit a Slurpee in the damned thing! Surely, they didn’t expect… Oh, what the hell. I walked back and asked, “You don’t seriously want all this, right?”

He didn’t even look at me. “No, just to the first line.” The first line was about a quarter of an inch (less than a centimeter) probably, up the side. So, what the fuck?

So, I left the lab and headed down the hall… and headed… and headed… and headed… and then, the hallway came to an end. The bathroom was occupied… and there was a line.

Oh well. We must all know why we’re here…

You’d think a lab that KNOWS it’s going to be taking pee samples will, at least, be close to a bathroom!

I guess I was a little irritable. Driving down to the lab, I felt a strong stabbing in the center of my chest and my breath was stopped. On my CD, Joe Walsh sang:

Minutes turn to hours, counting seconds tick away.
Another day tomorrow, tomorrow's just another day.
Days turn into years, and time goes by, over and over,
Again and again, and then, years turn into decades.
Decades.
Start another decade...

And, as much as I tried to fight it, I burst into tears. Whatever internal filter I might have hasn’t been working too well of late. Last night, as my sleep was punctuated by the strangest dreams, I felt compelled to tell Vicky about every one of them. Some of them featured Rosa and the guy she’s with… and Rosa… And, sitting in my car, with a shiv in my gut that seemed to have her name on it, tears streamed down my face.

None of it made sense but I guess that’s par for the course this week.

I’m not having the best week ever.

After the lab, I headed into work. At a light, I noticed a red stain on my sleeve. Dammit, the vampire was right! It’s bleeding! Then, I noticed the underside of my sleeve. Like the juice from a juicy sandwich, blood had run all the way down my arm. My shirt was drenched and cold from the air conditioning. For a second, I thought of going to the emergency room.

… then I realized that I wasn’t bleeding. There was no blood at all.

Dammit.

So, I did what I always do. I did what you’re taught to do as a child when you screw up or what you’re taught to do on stage when you flub a line. I shut that away in my mind and I continued going about my business.