What? Me act?…

Anything you read on April 3rd is patently untrue!

… you believe that, right?

See, back on April 3rd I wrote about an audition I’d be going to today… yeah, but times change, don’t they?

In the intervening few weeks, a few things have happened, though…

First of all, I received the “side” for the audition. (A “side” is the scene you’ll be acting in for the audition.) I’d say it stank but that would be an awful insult to stinky, well, anything. I mean, this script was so bad, even Vicky was telling me how awful it was – so I knew it wasn’t just me. It was all just so phoney and sappy and melodramatic – did I mention it’s a comedy? It just wasn’t funny, basically.

So, why would I audition?

Secondly, I’ve been working my ass off lately, finishing Climbing Maya. And, as soon as I’m done with that, I’m going to start my next book, a zombie horror story. And I had to ask myself, “Why do I feel the need to work myself to death: have a full-time job, write books, and do this audition?” Why couldn’t I cut myself some slack?

So, why would I audition?

Also, even if I was cast – and the odds of that between my age, my weight, and my day job that would have created a scheduling conflict – I wouldn’t actually be able to do it without losing my day job. The job I sought for so long. A job I actually like!

So, why would I audition?

So, this morning, I asked Vicky, “Would you drive all the way to Bakersfield to put your money in a bank where you weren’t sure if you’d get any interest?”

Of course, she answered, “No.”

But I keep thinking I need to do that! The only reason I can think of audition is because there’s the off chance of something else coming of it, some better (paying) opportunity, something that didn’t conflict so dramatically with the life I’m trying to have with Vicky. And that’s kind of stupid. I mean, I submit my books to agents and publishers in a very methodical way. I don’t just put my books places in the hopes of someone seeing them! (Considering the results thus far, don’t think it’s not tempting!)

Going to this audition in the hopes that I don’t get cast in it but that someone, working on something else that might work better in my schedule, decided to cast me in other project… it didn’t make sense.

So, I’m staying home today and I’m going to forget that awful script. I’m going to spend the day with my wife and enjoy myself.

Next time, I’ll wait until after I audition to even mention it!