Lots of gay people.
And they all want rights!
Fucking gay people!
Don't they know you only get rights in this country if you're white... or rich... or a man?
I mean, seriously!
First they want the right to exist. Then, they want the right to marry. Next thing you know, they'll want the right to be included in history books!
What's the problem? Some people are afraid that their friends might turn gay, or their children might turn gay, or that they themselves might... gasp!... become gay! And you know that seeing gay people, allowing gay people to have rights, and even reading about gay people can make you, too, gay as anyone who's ever drank San Francisco water!
... People are fucking stupid.
(You'll notice I made no comments about homosexual sleepovers in the White House or pedophiles in Homeland Security... yep... self-control is my middle name!)