Wednesday, March 28, 2007

We are, none of us, as young as we seem – or – Welcome to GenJones!...

You could also call this “Anonymous”…

I’ve always been grateful for the fact that I’m not a Baby Boomer. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hold anything against them. Baby Boomers got to go to Woodstock. Baby Boomers contributed to changing Civil Rights (if they were on the right side). Baby Boomers got to see The Beatles play on Ed Sullivan. Baby Boomers had it good.

But I never wanted to be a Baby Boomer because Baby Boomers are old. And Shrub’s a Boomer. ‘Nuff said.

I always thought I was part of Generation X. What a cool name: X! The unknown! Maya! An entire generation of illusion! Bitchin’!

… But I’m not.

Excuse me?

I’m not.

I took a mental double-take on that one when I found out. I am not a Generation X’er.

Son of a bitch.

Does that mean I’m a –

No. I’m not a Boomer, either.

Thank God in all his cock-sucking glory.

… wait a minute. If I’m not a Gen X’er… and I’m not a Baby Boomer… what the hell am I?

You won’t believe me when I tell you – and I know that because I didn’t believe it, either – but there’s a whole generation in between! It’s another “lost generation”. You never hear about them.

Generation… Jones.

… the fuck? Jones?


I don’t believe it.

See, the problem is that, while the Baby Boomer generation stretched from 1942-1964 (putting me safely a year out of reach), Generation X didn’t kick in until a couple of years later. It goes from 1966-1980.

That’s right. That leaves 1965 out in the snodgrass of generations. Mother fucker.

And that’s not all. Generation Jones goes from 1954-1965. That means that 90% of those people (birth rates being equal) are also Baby Boomers! I have to share my fucking generation with a bunch of fucking Boomers! That’s not fair!

I demand a recount!

And what’s all this Jones shit mean, anyway?

“An anonymous generation”, according to Wikipedia. The period in which I was born is known as that… anonymous. But, again, some can claim to be Boomers… but not if you were born in 1965.

Then, you were… anonymous…

Fuckin’ A.

But, at least, I'm not alone. Isn't that right, Ti... I mean, "Anonymous"!

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