Dear Nabisco, c/o Kraft Foods Global, Inc.,
I recently saw this after eating a bag of Cheese Nips:
When writing to us, please enclose the entire package with printed code, or call 1-800-NABISCO, Weekdays.
How dare you not hire me as a writer!
How mother fucking dare you!
Do you even read your shit? I mean, really, do you?! Because you’re giving me the option, when I write, to either enclose the package or call! You certainly aren’t, however much this might be your intention, suggesting that I can either write or call. I’m sorry, that is not what your written message means!
This one was free. Next time, I send a bill.