Billy Boylan Goes Up…

This one is especially for any of my friends from the stage who may still read.

Let’s see if you can figure this one out.

(It’s a dream from last night, btw.)

So, I’m cast in 40 Carats again, reprising my role as Billy Boylan, the ex with the heart of gold. I guess it’s only fitting; after all, I’m about Billy’s age now. And I’m wearing the goatee again. (The goatee’s back and you’re gonna be in trouble – ha na ha na, the goatee’s back!)

The rest of the actors are looking at me as if I was a star! (Which, in a way, I was – the star of my own dream!)

Sherryl’s the director. She played the lead when I was in 40 Carats about a million years ago.

We’re outside of this immense amphitheatre – the thing literally dwarfs the city around it. We’re WAY in the back and, as the show is about to begin, I decide to do a quick line drill in my head. I’ve often done this when I’ve acted (all these past tenses are really bumming me out!). You just drill through your lines in the scene where you’re about to appear.

… Except for one minor thing. I couldn’t remember my first line.

No problem. Grab a script. Open it up. Find that first line!

The script was this enormous stack of papers, phonebook thick, and I started scrolling through.

Sherryl walks up beside me, holding a clipboard and giving me a very expectant, “It’s gonna start soon”, look. (Though the last time I knew of a director being backstage with a clipboard, during a show, was in the fourth grade!)

Now, somewhere in there, I realized I was dreaming. I thought, “Billy Boylan?! Cool! I just have to remember that first line!”

So, off I dived through the script.

And dived.

And dived.

…. I might have dove… it’s early…

Anyway, the script started to literally fall to pieces in my hands – the size of a phonebook! So, I’m trying to hold together this immense stack of papers, trying to find the line, and trying very hard to not wake up because I really wanted to play Billy Boylan again.

When I realized… Billy Boylan did not appear anywhere in the script.

I checked again.

Nothing.

I looked at Sherryl. She smiled back at me.

“I should go,” I thought. “I’m not in this play.”

And I woke up.

… Extra points to you if you don’t say “I think you want to act again.”