It’s just after 2:30 am and I’m wide awake. God, how I hate insomnia. I’m not even sleepy. Tired? Sure. I didn’t sleep but a couple of hours yesterday morning. But nothing’s telling me to close my eyes. Instead, I keep thinking.
And I can’t stop.
I’ve got a couple of things on my mind this morning so I’m also posting another thought over on My Side. (Hey, I’ve got the time, you know?) Both come down to the choices we make and the effects they have.
I feel compelled to apologize to Vicky for being out of work. She reminds me that it’s not my fault and that’s true; Allied Schools laid a bunch of people off in a massive reorg. But that’s not why I’m apologizing.
I can’t help but think about my choices in the past few years. I worked at Linksys for about five and a half years and left because the people were not very nice and I couldn’t get any kind of career growth no matter what I did. I was offered and accepted a job at a place called IMC, not realizing that things would be 2000% worse there and that I’d be fired (spontaneously, injudiciously, and inexplicably) one month after getting a sizable raise. It took six months to find my job at Allied Schools and I really liked it. I felt as though I was doing something worthwhile. I felt fulfilled. It was nice.
Now, of course, I’m toast. I know that being unemployed is not entirely my fault but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened had I stayed at Linksys. I might be unhappy – but I’d be unhappily employed!