Friday, February 13, 2009

To My Only Valentine…

Marriages are strange things.

If you don’t know what I mean, you’ve probably never been in one and, given my batting average, I’m no one to suggest one way or another. Either way you go, count yourself lucky if you find yourself with someone who backs you up when times are tough.

Vicky and I do not have the perfect marriage, if such an animal exists. And I’m willing to bet most of that is my fault.

When things were better, financially – when I had a job – when I didn’t have to worry about losing the house or not, I think I sometimes went out of my way to pick a fight here or there, trying to improve things, trying to make it a more perfect marriage. I’d stir up trouble and I’d make a mess of things.

This isn’t to say Vicky’s perfect, either, which is probably not the right thing to say on Valentine’s Day. But, then, she’s employed.

This is the third job I’ve lost, I think, in three years. Sure, these things were probably not my fault, directly. I didn’t fuck things up. But if my luck is my luck then I should own up to it. Face it. My luck has SUCKED when it comes to holding a job.

But here’s the thing. Vicky has stood right by me. She has my back.

When my last marriage broke up, something my ex said to me was that she didn’t want to have to pay for my education. I had just helped her get her bachelor’s degree and now it was my turn and she decided she didn’t like the shoe on the other foot.

Vicky has done that and then some. She’s helped me pay for school when she could easily talk about her own goals. And now that I’m out of work… again… she’s standing by me.

This is a very long way for me to say, “Thank, Vic. You give me more than you know. I’m not only grateful. I’m inspired. You make me believe things will be okay so long as we’re together. I can only hope that someday I can be there for you as well the way you are always there for me. Thank you for being my Valentine.”

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