My first impulse is to make a fat joke. As in, “I’m so fat, I shouldn’t need any help staying afloat!”
… but I won’t.
As you might have noticed over on the Ken La Salle blog, things have been pretty stagnant lately. Despite all of my best efforts, sending out a constant stream of submissions in the last month alone for books and plays and other projects, my writing career has come to what feels like a dead stop.
Last night, sitting in the middle of this writing career of mine – a career that is netting me very little in the way of money, by the way – I asked Vicky if she would prefer I just call it quits and look for a full-time job. I’ll be honest with you, Vicky is funding this endeavor and she has every right to say, “Cut the crap.” Sometimes, I feel like I’m doing her a terrible disservice. Sometimes, I feel like I’m taking advantage of her in the worst way, because things just haven’t been happening for me no matter how hard I try.
Listen, I love being a writer. I love having the opportunity to write books and plays and whatever else strikes my fancy. But if I can’t get people to buy my work or even to read my work – this blog being a perfect case in point here – then what the hell am I doing?
But Vicky did not say “Cut the crap.” Instead, Vicky asked me to calm down and try not to worry and keep doing the work that I’ve been doing.
It’s not comfortable, being in her debt like this, but I try to remember how blessed I am by her love for me. I’ve always wanted someone who believes in me as much as Vicky does and I am working my ass off to prove her right in her belief.
… Things have got to turn around soon…