Friday, August 17, 2012

And the bottom fell out…

I make it a point these days to blog at least once a week… and that usually means once a week.

I try to keep the blog honest, talking about things that are currently going on for those who care to know. It’s like a weekly journal of the big events in my life, with the Ken La Salle Blog being a journal of the big events in my writing career. Sometimes, they converge and this week is one of those times.

Just over half a year ago, Vicky and I talked about how I would begin pursuing my writing career full-time. We had my first published book coming out with plenty of self-published e-books so we knew some money would come in, if only just a little. I told Vicky to let me know when she would need me to return to work, when her income would no longer be enough to keep us afloat. Until that time, I would work full-time and more than full-time at pursuing my dream.

I finished my book on ethics. I self-published two more e-books. I wrote a new novel and started a new memoir. I wrote several new plays and quite a few web articles. I promoted my work tirelessly and sent out mountains of submissions to theaters and publishers and agents…

But it wasn’t enough.

Recently, Vicky let me know the time has come. I’ll need to return to work again, which means first finding a job.

Vicky feels horrible because she thinks she’s let me down but she’s wrong. I let her down. I just couldn’t make my writing career work. Not this time.

The simple, unavoidable truth is that those who make their dreams happen possess a robust support system of friends and family who buy their products, talk them up, help promote them, and serve as a first line of proponents in making it happen. Truth be told, I just don’t have that. Now, it would be easy to say that the fault lies with my friends and family for being unsupportive slackers who just don’t give a shit… easy and true… but the fault lies mostly with me, for not networking as well as I could, for not promoting my products as well as I could, and for just not being good enough.

That’s what it comes down to.

And so, this is a time to learn and not to blame, to regroup and try again in the future. The dream is not dead and I’m not giving up. I just have to get better at this.

Mind you, the economy is such a mess that finding a job is not a foregone conclusion. I’m already applying everywhere I can but my work history, with most of 2012 being vacant, isn’t exactly stellar. Nothing is certain and most everything is in doubt. This is not what I’d call a good place to be.

As always, Vicky has been a gem through all of this and I’m thankful she still believes in me, even when circumstances make it easy to believe otherwise. Hell, my belief in me isn’t as good.

I’ll keep you posted on developments as we move forward. If you’re still interested in helping, go buy a book. They’re reasonably priced. Share this blog with your friends. Share the links to my books and my website, which as always is at

I’m not giving up and neither should you.

If dreams were easy, they wouldn’t be dreams.

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