About a decade ago – yes, this goes a long way back so bear with me – I was pretty thin. Okay, it was actually only seven years, but still… I was far thinner than I was today.
I was thin because I didn’t eat. When I wanted to eat, I smoked or I drank. I was thin because I was an actor back then and you kinda had to be.
Since then, I got married and I got fat. I stopped acting but that was okay because I found myself spending a whole lot more time for my writing. (You might say I have a figure for writing.)
Now, when I use words like “thin” or “fat”, don’t get the wrong idea. I haven’t changed much and the difference in weight has only been about twenty pounds. When I was thin, I wore a 36 waist thin pair of jeans. As I got fatter, I moved from thin jeans all the way up to loose jeans – I would wear anything so long as I could still say I wore a 36 waist! I never wanted to move up to the dreaded 38.
Well, with all the jogging and cycling and walking I’ve been doing over the last year, my loose jeans have gone from just barely fitting to being… loose, actually. Actually loose! I actually have to wear a belt to keep them up! Imagine that.
Yesterday, Vicky decided I should get some new jeans. (Yes, SuperBowl Sunday – ugh!) What I ended up with were not thin jeans. I actually still have my thin jeans, which are waiting waiting waiting for that fateful day of thinness. No, but what I did get were called relaxed.
I’ve gone from loose to relaxed. Relaxed doesn’t sound nearly as loose as loose. Mind you, I’m not entirely relaxed in my relaxed jeans. They might as well be called the “See that? You’re fat” jeans.
But I’ll take relaxed.