Vicky never writes on this site any more. Can’t blame her, of course. She’s a very busy lady. On top of her job, she’s a prolific housekeeper… Actually, she’s anal. But that keeps her very busy. So, I thought I’d write something for her.
Vicky and I went to a Clipper’s game last night. Vicky loves sports but those who know me know how mismatched we are. As I told Vicky, “I never got the sports gene. When I was learning basketball as a child, I just thought it was rude.” I’d been given the tickets by my new boss and Vicky was primed to go… so I went, too.
We started the night at the FOX Sports bar. I had reservations just because of FOX News, but Vicky was really hungry, so… I always enjoy watching people in LA, they just look different. So many more of them look like they have stories; they’re so interesting. So, as we waited for our orders (chicken sammach for Vick, pulled-pork for me), I people watched. Vicky watched the game on the big-screen. (As you can imagine, there were lots of big-screens in there.) We ate through most of the first half of the game – most of it was spent waiting, of course. Then, we were done. I had to take a quick trip to the bathroom and, on my way out, I sniffled. Well, I’ve been sick, you know? As I sniffled, I passed a couple who, oddly enough, were making out by the bathroom door. (Making out by the bathroom door? Yes, I wondered about the location myself. Then, I saw them return to a table with other people and realized they might not actually be a couple… if you know what I mean. Yes, people in LA have stories.) The woman turned her face at me and sneered, “You shouldn’t do coke in the bathroom! It’s tacky!” Yep. We were in LA.
Vicky said the lady was just angry that I didn’t share.
Into the Staples Center, we went. Our seats were certifiably nose-bleed, one row from the TOP. I said, “The players look like kids from up here!” Turned out, they were kids. The players weren’t out, yet. But then, the game began again in earnest and Vicky was having a great time. In fact, watching her have such a good time, I enjoyed myself more, too. That’s one thing I love about Vicky, how she can get caught up in the excitement. Me? I’m too suspicious, too leery. I want to know what I’m in for… but Vicky can have a good time and she’s fun to watch.
Too bad she so busy all the time.
And she’s just going to get busier.
You see, I’ve deputized her to sell my books for me.
I should probably explain that, huh?
Well, after writing eight novels and selling NONE, I finally had to come to the conclusion that I’m either a horrible writer or a horrible salesman. Vicky finished reading my latest novel this week and told me she thought it was great. So did Billie, who also read it. Okay, maybe it is. Maybe I’m just an awful salesman. But I am sick and tired of being an awful salesman. I’m sick and tired of not being able to sell my books. I’m tired of striking out.
I told her that I want her to try and sell “With Eyes to See”. Maybe she’d have better luck. She asked me, “How do you do it?”
I told her, “I obviously do not know.”
Frankly, how could she do worse than me? It’s about time for a change. And I think I’m extremely lucky to have someone who would even consider it, someone who has enough faith in me to think it would be worthwhile.
I’m a lucky guy.