The word for the day: Impermanence…

I was at the gym this morning, doing my usual thing. This morning, it was four miles on the treadmill and one circuit through the weight machines. On the treadmill next to me, two old people discussed music. They had a conversation that I swear, after 1985, I never thought I’d hear again.

“All I listen to is Big Band. It’s the last, good music.”

“I wish it would come back.”

“It had a resurgence in the ‘50’s but…”

“It couldn’t fight rock and roll.”

“I can’t stand that stuff.”

I was finding their discussion ironic because, overhead, “Smokin” by Boston was playing, a song constructed very much like a Tommy Dorsey song (listen to “Sing Sing Sing with a Little Swing”). A few songs later “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” by Offspring was on and I could see the similarities between that and Boston. I also thought about Christiana Aguilera’s new disk and how it borrows a lot from the 40’s. It’s all related. Big Band was co-opted but not forgotten!

Now, I’m not saying that those old timers (who probably weren’t more than 15 years or so older than me) should start listening to Offspring. Don’t get me wrong. What I’m saying is that, while I can see how the music is all related, one of these days something’s going to come around that’s so offensive that my old fogey self is going to shut myself off to it, too. Things change. That’s the nature of life.

I wish I could see that when it came to the job hunt.

I’ve been at this now – what? – for nearly three months!? When’s it going to end??? I mean: FUCK!!

I’ve been asking for feedback from employers who turn me down and, let me tell you, that hasn’t been helping.

One employer, last week, wrote that my writing was above-average and that my personality was animated and eager… but he didn’t say why he didn’t hire me. I just wasn’t “the one”. He ended his email, “I trust that a quality copywriting position is both imminent and appropriate for you.” Now, seriously, what the fuck does that mean?

This week was even worse, though. After going for multiple interviews with an employer and completing a test that I was emailed at home, I wasn’t given the position. Why? Not because I wasn’t a good write. Not because I wasn’t personable.

Because I finished the test too quickly! I thought it would display my sincerity and my interest. They said it showed a lack of “thoughtfulness”… huh? They also said I displayed some red flags, such as telling them one of my hobbies was acting and that I seemed desperate for the job.

It’s like you can’t win.

So, anyway, impermanence.

This job search could be impermanent. Right? I could find a job tomorrow (or, at least, Monday), right? On the flip side, I could lose everything if I don’t find a job.

Not good. Not good.

The only truly bright side to all of this has been Vicky, who has been nothing but supportive. I’m a very lucky guy.

Her luck stinks.