Yesterday, I drove Vicky to the airport so she could catch a
flight to the Midwest. Vicky’s gone away for a paralegal conference and I’m at
home all alone… and ready to start some trouble!
… Wait. Let me clarify…
As much as I might like to think of myself as one of those
crazy writers you hear so much about having sexual escapades while ingesting
too many drugs – snorting coke off a model’s abdomen, for instance – the truth
is… well, would you like to know the truth? Would you like to know how crazy I
get when Vicky’s gone?
Here it is. Here’s the craziness this author gets into when
his wife is out of town…
The first thing I did was to prepare myself for several days
of sin and debauchery… I bought several large, frozen pizzas. Then, I made sure
I had plenty of booze and Otter Pops. (I have this theory that Otter Pops would
made amazing ice in vodka… we’ll see.)
After I dropped Vicky off at the airport, I immediately went
home and began setting up my DVR to record every James Bond film shown on our
movie channels until this weekend. That equals about a dozen James Bond flicks,
and that includes Moonraker! (And, yes. I will watch Moonraker!)
At some point in the next few days, I plan to sit in front
of my TV, with lots of booze, and watch James Bond flicks until I can’t stand
it anymore…
… I know. I’m boring. But, truth be told, I’ve never sat
through an entire James Bond flick. I think I’ve seen half of each of them but
never an entire movie.
By the time Vicky comes home, I will be going crazy from
missing her as will our pets. I’ll let her deal with that.
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