Friday, July 20, 2012

Life does not stink...

I was out at breakfast this morning with my friend, Sean, and I found myself saying, “Things are really different these days. I used to have a job that I went to every morning. I’d wear clothes I didn’t like very much and go to a job I didn’t like very much. I hardly ever got to do what I wanted to do. Now, I wear what I want. I do what I want. My whole career is about doing what I want. Even the things I don’t want to do aren’t really things I don’t want to do; I just want to move on to the next thing I want to do.”

I took a deep breath and realized, “Yeah, things do not suck.”

It’s a strange revelation for someone like me, that things do not suck. I spent a lot of my life caught in situations that sucked, that really sucked. I was in a divorce that sucked. I was in relationships that sucked. I worked at jobs where I wasn’t respected and that sucked. I worked at jobs with loathsome people and that sucked.

It’s just nice to know that things do not suck.

So, I thought I’d talk a little about that today. I wanted to get the word out. I wanted to share my happiness with those who love me. I wanted to share my fortune with my readers. I’ve seen how sometimes old friends who have stopped talking to me read this blog and I wanted to let them know. I even know of some who dislike me for unresolvable reasons and I thought I’d let them know, too.

Life is good.

I’m working on projects I can be proud of. I just finished a novel that I think is a lot of fun; my agent should like it (which is saying something). My next project is another memoir, another chapter in my life. I’ve put out some good plays recently and have garnered a little, dare I say, respect.

Mind you, I say things like “Life is good” and I cringe a bit. I look skywards for the anvil that may drop on my head. I’ve still got that superstitious streak everyone who was once religious finds so difficult to shed.

Saying “Life is good”, I also immediately think of my wife, Vicky. This is mostly her doing. She has gone out of her way to make this opportunity possible, for me to write for a living, and I like to think I’ve taken the ball and run with it. I hope my running will suffice. Actually, running – which in this case actually means “writing” – is what I’ve wanted to do for so long. Together, we’re putting me in that place where I can run.

Vicky’s going to go away next week and I’ll be on my own. I have a pile of work I can’t wait to get to while she’s gone. At the same time, though, I know I’ll miss her. But it’s that feeling, that knowledge that I’ll miss her, that makes me feel good. Knowing how crazy I am about my wife, and knowing she loves me as well, just adds to my feeling of well-being. It’s nice to have someone to miss.

Anyway, there you are. I’m running. I’m loving. I’m working. These are all active verbs, which is to say I am not just sitting around wishing things would get better or hoping for an opportunity. I am not alone. I am not aimless. My life is pretty darned full (and even fun) at this point.

Life does not stink.

No comments: