Thursday, January 27, 2011

My greatest fear…

Let me start this with a brief primer: Vicky is wonderful and I love her more than I can tell you. She supports me completely. She’s my biggest fan. What more can I ask for?

Got it?

So, let me jump to the chase. Things have gone from bad to worse on the job front and I am seriously floundering. It’s pretty bad – but that’s not the worst part.

Vicky is experiencing a time in her professional life that can’t be beat. She is experiencing victory after victory and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Meanwhile, life is taking one big fat dump after another on me. It’s really difficult to get out of bed some days because things just keep getting worse.

What does this have to do with my greatest fear? It’s like this: one of these days it will be perfectly understandable for Vicky to want someone who isn’t so terribly unfortunate in his career, someone with a job, say. When that day comes, it would be perfectly understandable for her to cut her losses and move on.

I’m in this position through no fault of my own but there’s no denying how horrible my luck has been. I am terribly afraid my one bit of luck remaining, that being the fact that Vicky always comes home to me, is going to take a dive, too.

I don’t write this because I want feedback or advice. I just want to put that out there because it is eating away at my insides and maybe getting it out will help.

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