(For those wondering if this just means I have little going on in my life, well, I can’t fault your reasoning…)
Something’s been going on since the reading of Murielle’s Big Date a couple weekends ago and it has only caught up to me recently.
Just after the reading, our friend Paula asked me, “What happens now?” She wanted to know what happened to the play and my jaded reply was a bit harsh in the face of her enthusiasm, I’m afraid. But, honestly, nothing happens short of my continuing to shop it around. It’s all a process. You keep running the wheel.
Little did I know there was a far more existential quality to her question than that. After the reading, I noticed something different with Vicky. As I say, it took a while for me to catch on. At first, it just felt… weird. It was a good kind of weird but weird just the same. Then, I recognized it.
I believe it’s thanks to the reading. Vicky is looking at me once again – not as a guy who has been out of work for nearly a year, not as a guy who has to struggle just for a job interview, not as Mr. Unemployment Check but – as someone competent and capable. She’s been speaking to me as though my potential has been made clear. And I don’t blame her. One of the great things about these staged readings is they remind me that I’m competent, that when I tell myself “I can write” I’m not completely full of shit. I hadn’t considered the reading would have the same effect on Vicky.
But it has. For instance, when I mentioned a writing idea before the reading Vicky kind of just shrugged it off. “Sure, whatever. I’m dealing with the real world.” After the reading, Vicky appears to see the potential my writing might have in the real world. It’s kind of nice.
When Vicky and I first got together, she said, “I’m not going to be one of your fans.” She was pretty adamant about it. And I’ve been working hard ever since then to make her one of my fans. As an artist, I need her to be one of my fans, my number one fan. After the reading, I think she may not be a fan but she’s certainly warming to the idea.