Saturday, February 11, 2006

Embarrassment comes to us all…

But for today, in particular, myself especially.

As readers of this blog know, I’ve never been the most successful person in life. Sure, I’ve had some highs but they’ve never been especially high… they’re more like “mids”. (And you can’t count my marriage – either one – because those aren’t personal accomplishments.) There have been many, many more lows. And I’ve accepted that. I’m not the most accomplished, the best looking, the funniest, the smartest. I am distinctively average.

But I’ve tried. I really have. I’ve written ten novels. I’ve written three plays. They’ve all been on stage. I’ve acted. I’ve directed.

And have been unsuccessful at all of these things.

… but today, it got worse.

Today, while out to lunch with Sean (who some of you may remember from the wedding), he informed me that people from high school – from my high school – people I went to high with – people I knew in high school – yes, those people – he told me that some of them read my blog.

My response? Complete emotional breakdown.

Those were the people who expected me to win a Pulitzer, to win an Oscar, to win a Tony, a Frank, a Jimmy, a Ralph…. Something! It’s not bad enough that I’ve done nothing, but now I know that they all know it! Remaining anonymous wasn’t good enough. It’s not enough that I know what a failure I am – now I know that they know, too.

4 comments:

Jenn from WA said...

At the very minimum they also know you whine...snap out of it or I'll sick Vicky on you. I don't know you from Adam, but I do know that Vicky never would have chosen you if you weren't successful in some way. Whether you chose to see it or not...if you get up in the morning and make it through the day without killing someone, you're a success in my book.

Kenneth La Salle said...

Yes but, rhetorically speaking, what if you try to kill someone and FAIL?????

Jenn from WA said...

If we're rhetorically speaking, then what if the failure to kill as planned was really part of a subconscious plan to NOT kill.

Kenneth La Salle said...

... See, now you're just freaking me out...