Taglines that never quite took off...

Taglines that never quite took off...

#25: Pork. The other white steroid-laden, hormone soaked obscenity that shouldn't get near your mouth.

#24: Beef. It's what's for dinner... until we run out and start on the cats.

#23: Michelob Ultra. Still tastes just as shitty as our regular beer - in fact, even moreso!

#22: Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas, looks much better in a movie. Otherwise, it's shit.

#21: Finger-lickin' barf!

#20: Snap. Crackle. And, yes, we know they taste like cardboard. What do you want from us?

#19: Every kiss begins with a K... and ends with the terrible suspicion that the other person has herpes.

#18: Ivory Soap. 99.44% pure... the rest is rat feces.

#17: When you care enough to send a shitty card.

#16: Never let them see you sweat... or crap your pants.

#15: Dunkin. Time to make the donuts, just as soon as I spit in the batter.

#14: Disneyland. The happiest place on earth as long as you're not a Jew.

#13: Have a coke and these dead polar bears we found floating around.

#12: Have a coke and diabetes.

#11: Have a coke and rotten teeth.

#10: Please don't squeeze the Charmin... perv.

#9: What's in your wallet? Really? How much? Holy shit. Seriously? Well, hand it over.

#8: Nothing comes between me and my Calvins... except for my crabs.

#7: Calgon, kill my husband and make it look like an accident. Oh, and I could use some cocaine.

#6: Got bovine lactation fluid?

#5: Budweiser. The King of Uriney-looking beverages.

#4: Bounty. The quicker - oh, ick. I don't want to touch that!

#3: You're in good colon with Allstate.

#2: I can't believe I ate the whole cat.

#1: Morbid Obesity. It isn't just for breakfast anymore.