Showing posts with label Unemployment 2009. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unemployment 2009. Show all posts
Monday, May 11, 2015
Monday, May 09, 2011
My Saturday – and, yes, I got a job…
Saturday morning began with an easy-peasy visit to the OC Food Bank. The idea was to volunteer just a couple of hours helping pack boxes of food before going to a job interview I had scheduled for later in the day.
The food-packing was coordinated just like an assembly line. There were pallets of several kinds of food on each side and box would come down the line to pack the food in. So, one person would pack a jar of peanut butter from a pallet. Then, one person would pack a bag of rice, etc. etc. etc. It was pretty easy. People were even chilly from the morning and wore coats.
The box would go to the end of the line, get taped shut and then one person would take the 10-ish pound box and stack them on a pallet. That one person was me. While everyone else was lifting just a few ounces, I moved 10-ish pound boxes all morning long. I was sweating so hard after a while, it was clear I was the only one working – but, here’s the thing, nobody helped me out. This was mostly because I was the only muscular guy – but they didn’t even slow down! They were going at a furious pace! In the two hours we were there, I moved over 140 of those boxes!
Cut to the end and I’m sweaty and tired and even banged up quite a bit… and I still have a job interview to go to! I was tempted to call it off except that the woman I was meeting with had been kind enough to take time out of her Saturday… so, I went.
As tired as I was, I wasn’t at the top of my game. I didn’t even look particularly good. I figured I would simply apologize and explain what had happened and ride it out – so imagine my surprise when it didn’t seem to affect the direction the interview went in! Woody Allen famously said that 80% of success is showing up – well, I showed up and was offered the job.
The job is about a six-month contract, so far as we know. It may go on longer but that’s the minimum. I’ll be writing as well as using my marketing management skills so, at the very least, this should be very good for my resume. The best parts, though, are two-fold. First, I’ll be working on developing and marketing courses for parents of children with Autism, helping them help their children. I feel really good about that. Second, my new boss knows about and supports my efforts as a writer. Unlike previous jobs, this won’t require me to live a double-life quite so much.
I start Tuesday and I’m looking forward to it. It’s been a while since I made any money and I want to get the ball rolling.
After all this happened, Vicky and Jeff and I went up to Hollyweird to see my new show. You can read more about that on the Ken La Salle blog…
The food-packing was coordinated just like an assembly line. There were pallets of several kinds of food on each side and box would come down the line to pack the food in. So, one person would pack a jar of peanut butter from a pallet. Then, one person would pack a bag of rice, etc. etc. etc. It was pretty easy. People were even chilly from the morning and wore coats.
The box would go to the end of the line, get taped shut and then one person would take the 10-ish pound box and stack them on a pallet. That one person was me. While everyone else was lifting just a few ounces, I moved 10-ish pound boxes all morning long. I was sweating so hard after a while, it was clear I was the only one working – but, here’s the thing, nobody helped me out. This was mostly because I was the only muscular guy – but they didn’t even slow down! They were going at a furious pace! In the two hours we were there, I moved over 140 of those boxes!
Cut to the end and I’m sweaty and tired and even banged up quite a bit… and I still have a job interview to go to! I was tempted to call it off except that the woman I was meeting with had been kind enough to take time out of her Saturday… so, I went.
As tired as I was, I wasn’t at the top of my game. I didn’t even look particularly good. I figured I would simply apologize and explain what had happened and ride it out – so imagine my surprise when it didn’t seem to affect the direction the interview went in! Woody Allen famously said that 80% of success is showing up – well, I showed up and was offered the job.
The job is about a six-month contract, so far as we know. It may go on longer but that’s the minimum. I’ll be writing as well as using my marketing management skills so, at the very least, this should be very good for my resume. The best parts, though, are two-fold. First, I’ll be working on developing and marketing courses for parents of children with Autism, helping them help their children. I feel really good about that. Second, my new boss knows about and supports my efforts as a writer. Unlike previous jobs, this won’t require me to live a double-life quite so much.
I start Tuesday and I’m looking forward to it. It’s been a while since I made any money and I want to get the ball rolling.
After all this happened, Vicky and Jeff and I went up to Hollyweird to see my new show. You can read more about that on the Ken La Salle blog…
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The thing about the closet…
I recently came out rather strongly against being “in the closet” as a writer.
… then, bills needed to be paid.
The thing is, the closet has its benefits. If I can work a full-time job, I can usually pay my bills and buy stuff and not feel as if I’m going to lose my home.
Last week, I got a call about a full-time job as an Assistant Marketing Manager for a local tech firm. I wasn’t about to turn it down. Despite my loathing of the closet, I know better than to say “No” to an opportunity for employment. Anyway, since I stopped applying for full-time jobs, I figured this might be the last time I was called in to interview for a position as a marketing professional.
And the thing is, it went rather well. The Marketing Manager I met with had similar sensibilities as me and was very open to my (let’s call it “diverse”) background. She said the more experience you have, the better you look as a candidate. Believe it or not, I normally encounter people who will tell me that it’s not possible for me to have worked as both a technical writer and a marketing writer – not that’s it’s unlikely but that it’s impossible. Basically, they call me a liar.
After I came home, I told Vicky that if I don’t get this job I don’t deserve to work full-time. My logic is that if I am so bad at reading people in the corporate environment – if my corporate instincts are that bad – that I think I had a good interview when I actually just made an ass of myself, my days in marketing should be put behind me. The longer I spend in the trenches as a writer, the better those instincts develop. So, this is a good opportunity to either go or go home.
I should also acknowledge Vicky’s part in this. For those of you out there thinking that I’m taking advantage of her, you’re probably right. But she has clearly stated her support for me while also admitting that I need to find a job of some kind when my unemployment benefits run out – you know, since the whole “finding a marketing job” thing has panned out so successfully. This means, I am not above working retail for the first time in 20 years.
We’re walking a fine line between having faith in my abilities as a writer and keeping our home. The plan is to make those lines meet. We’ll see…
… then, bills needed to be paid.
The thing is, the closet has its benefits. If I can work a full-time job, I can usually pay my bills and buy stuff and not feel as if I’m going to lose my home.
Last week, I got a call about a full-time job as an Assistant Marketing Manager for a local tech firm. I wasn’t about to turn it down. Despite my loathing of the closet, I know better than to say “No” to an opportunity for employment. Anyway, since I stopped applying for full-time jobs, I figured this might be the last time I was called in to interview for a position as a marketing professional.
And the thing is, it went rather well. The Marketing Manager I met with had similar sensibilities as me and was very open to my (let’s call it “diverse”) background. She said the more experience you have, the better you look as a candidate. Believe it or not, I normally encounter people who will tell me that it’s not possible for me to have worked as both a technical writer and a marketing writer – not that’s it’s unlikely but that it’s impossible. Basically, they call me a liar.
After I came home, I told Vicky that if I don’t get this job I don’t deserve to work full-time. My logic is that if I am so bad at reading people in the corporate environment – if my corporate instincts are that bad – that I think I had a good interview when I actually just made an ass of myself, my days in marketing should be put behind me. The longer I spend in the trenches as a writer, the better those instincts develop. So, this is a good opportunity to either go or go home.
I should also acknowledge Vicky’s part in this. For those of you out there thinking that I’m taking advantage of her, you’re probably right. But she has clearly stated her support for me while also admitting that I need to find a job of some kind when my unemployment benefits run out – you know, since the whole “finding a marketing job” thing has panned out so successfully. This means, I am not above working retail for the first time in 20 years.
We’re walking a fine line between having faith in my abilities as a writer and keeping our home. The plan is to make those lines meet. We’ll see…
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The day I gave up and finally accepted my fate…
Yesterday came the culmination of over half a decade of work. More than that, it was just another step in the payoff of over 30 years of work.
Yesterday, I signed a contract with Sullivan Maxx Literary Agency for them to represent my philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya.
And the entire kingdom rejoiced!!!
… then, after a while, Vicky and I got down to some of the business of our new situation. With new books appearing in Kindle, iBooks, Nook, etc. every week and Wormfood Island coming from Northern Frights Publishing this summer, with two theaters seriously considering producing my work this summer and now a literary agency – a good one – representing Climbing Maya… Vicky and I had to admit to ourselves that it looks like I’m going to be a professional writer.
Yes, you heard that right.
The day has come that I’ve been dreaming about most of my life!
… and we had to figure out how that was going to impact my job search. Basically, reality stinks, folks. We still need to pay the bills.
But this writing stuff takes a lot of time. We realized I wasn’t going to be able to manage it if I worked a full-time job. It was at that time that we revised our job search plan down to part-time… maybe.
After all, if my digital books sell even moderately well, the income might be enough so I can devote my time to my writing. If not, well, it’s something part-time for me.
The whole thing seems unreal, to tell you the truth. To think, someone said the words, “Your writing career means you won’t be able to work full-time.” It sounds like a joke, to tell you the truth.
Let’s hope it’s not. Okay?
Yesterday, I signed a contract with Sullivan Maxx Literary Agency for them to represent my philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya.
And the entire kingdom rejoiced!!!
… then, after a while, Vicky and I got down to some of the business of our new situation. With new books appearing in Kindle, iBooks, Nook, etc. every week and Wormfood Island coming from Northern Frights Publishing this summer, with two theaters seriously considering producing my work this summer and now a literary agency – a good one – representing Climbing Maya… Vicky and I had to admit to ourselves that it looks like I’m going to be a professional writer.
Yes, you heard that right.
The day has come that I’ve been dreaming about most of my life!
… and we had to figure out how that was going to impact my job search. Basically, reality stinks, folks. We still need to pay the bills.
But this writing stuff takes a lot of time. We realized I wasn’t going to be able to manage it if I worked a full-time job. It was at that time that we revised our job search plan down to part-time… maybe.
After all, if my digital books sell even moderately well, the income might be enough so I can devote my time to my writing. If not, well, it’s something part-time for me.
The whole thing seems unreal, to tell you the truth. To think, someone said the words, “Your writing career means you won’t be able to work full-time.” It sounds like a joke, to tell you the truth.
Let’s hope it’s not. Okay?
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Final Countdown…
Yes, I have that stupid song in my head now… dammit.
Actually, this entry is about something very different. It looks like I am now within weeks of losing my unemployment benefits – they are bone dry – and Vicky and I have started counting down the remaining days.
I find myself in an odd position. Vicky has such a relaxed attitude about things, so positive things will work out, she makes it hard for me to freak out. At the same time, I am Ken. Freaking out is second nature. Let’s say I’m conflicted. Will I find a job in my chosen career? Will I have to work retail or fast food for anything I can get? I don’t know.
The strangest thing about all of this is the timing. We are just months away from the release of Wormfood Island (from Northern Frights Publishing). Other developments are on the way, too. I should start seeing an at least semi-regular income from my writing this year. Maybe that’s why Vicky is so relaxed, because she knows that things are happening even if I have to take a shitty job.
I know I’ve said this before but I wouldn’t trade in this time I’ve had for anything. As much as I hate not having a job – it would be nice to have money – my writing career has taken huge leaps in the last two years. I mean, it looks like it is actually starting, you know? My writing is getting better and I have learned a whole lot more about the business. Would this have happened if I was employed? Perhaps. But I can tell you with all certainty that there is no better inspiration than fear, at least for me. I’ve become incredibly prolific of late and have my eyes firmly affixed to the future.
I don’t know how this will all turn out but I do know that the next phase begins in just a few weeks. Keep your eyes on this space. Things will change.
Actually, this entry is about something very different. It looks like I am now within weeks of losing my unemployment benefits – they are bone dry – and Vicky and I have started counting down the remaining days.
I find myself in an odd position. Vicky has such a relaxed attitude about things, so positive things will work out, she makes it hard for me to freak out. At the same time, I am Ken. Freaking out is second nature. Let’s say I’m conflicted. Will I find a job in my chosen career? Will I have to work retail or fast food for anything I can get? I don’t know.
The strangest thing about all of this is the timing. We are just months away from the release of Wormfood Island (from Northern Frights Publishing). Other developments are on the way, too. I should start seeing an at least semi-regular income from my writing this year. Maybe that’s why Vicky is so relaxed, because she knows that things are happening even if I have to take a shitty job.
I know I’ve said this before but I wouldn’t trade in this time I’ve had for anything. As much as I hate not having a job – it would be nice to have money – my writing career has taken huge leaps in the last two years. I mean, it looks like it is actually starting, you know? My writing is getting better and I have learned a whole lot more about the business. Would this have happened if I was employed? Perhaps. But I can tell you with all certainty that there is no better inspiration than fear, at least for me. I’ve become incredibly prolific of late and have my eyes firmly affixed to the future.
I don’t know how this will all turn out but I do know that the next phase begins in just a few weeks. Keep your eyes on this space. Things will change.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The only reason unemployed people look for work…
I’ve got a lot going on these days with the readings and the writing (and I’m sure there’s bound to be some ‘rithmatic in there somewhere) but today I thought I’d focus on something that happened at a job interview I was at recently.
We were going over my resume and the woman said, “I see you’ve been doing some temp work? Some contract work? Trying to keep busy? To keep the skills in shape?”
Yes, that’s why I was working temp and contract jobs. To keep busy. Because I was so bored. It had nothing to do with paying my bills or having food to eat, you stupid bitch.
Of course, I smiled and nodded like they expect you to – because, at this point, I’ll endure any indignity if there’s a paycheck in it. But the idea that this woman’s worldview was so myopic as to think that unemployed people look for work simply out of boredom, for something to do, is so disturbing I just don’t know what to think.
Is this why stupid people so often think of the unemployed as lazy? Rather than hungry? We have plenty of incentives to work, believe me. We like the roof over our heads and would like to keep it there. Honest.
Oh… and the welfare mom down the street is not driving a BMW, either. (Just thought I’d get that out of the way while I was here…)
We were going over my resume and the woman said, “I see you’ve been doing some temp work? Some contract work? Trying to keep busy? To keep the skills in shape?”
Yes, that’s why I was working temp and contract jobs. To keep busy. Because I was so bored. It had nothing to do with paying my bills or having food to eat, you stupid bitch.
Of course, I smiled and nodded like they expect you to – because, at this point, I’ll endure any indignity if there’s a paycheck in it. But the idea that this woman’s worldview was so myopic as to think that unemployed people look for work simply out of boredom, for something to do, is so disturbing I just don’t know what to think.
Is this why stupid people so often think of the unemployed as lazy? Rather than hungry? We have plenty of incentives to work, believe me. We like the roof over our heads and would like to keep it there. Honest.
Oh… and the welfare mom down the street is not driving a BMW, either. (Just thought I’d get that out of the way while I was here…)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Dilemma…
I had a job interview today that, to be honest, could have gone better.
To start, it didn’t. The guy I was supposed to interview with kept asking me to wait in the lobby. We didn’t get moving until about 15 minutes after the appointment time.
Next, he was far from prepared. I got the impression he was lucky to have my resume, though it looked pretty banged up. I gave him a fresh resume and some other materials as well, which I hope helps in the end.
Worst, though, was the age old dilemma I’ve faced so many times. This interview was for a marketing coordinator position, which I am very qualified for. That said, I’ve also worked as a writer for many years as well. The dilemma, you see, is that some folks can’t understand that you can do both.
So, the interview began. “I see you just did some technical writing.”
“Yes, it was a contract position, which has since ended. Now, I’m excited about this marketing coordinator position.”
“Why don’t you just stick with tech writing?” he asked.
I could go on but it would be redundant. Some folks just can’t wrap their heads around a person who can do more than one thing.
In the end, it didn’t turn out well. Even after I pointed out areas I could help in where they were sadly lacking, this guy couldn’t understand that I can do more than technical writing.
It appears I’m still in the job market.
To start, it didn’t. The guy I was supposed to interview with kept asking me to wait in the lobby. We didn’t get moving until about 15 minutes after the appointment time.
Next, he was far from prepared. I got the impression he was lucky to have my resume, though it looked pretty banged up. I gave him a fresh resume and some other materials as well, which I hope helps in the end.
Worst, though, was the age old dilemma I’ve faced so many times. This interview was for a marketing coordinator position, which I am very qualified for. That said, I’ve also worked as a writer for many years as well. The dilemma, you see, is that some folks can’t understand that you can do both.
So, the interview began. “I see you just did some technical writing.”
“Yes, it was a contract position, which has since ended. Now, I’m excited about this marketing coordinator position.”
“Why don’t you just stick with tech writing?” he asked.
I could go on but it would be redundant. Some folks just can’t wrap their heads around a person who can do more than one thing.
In the end, it didn’t turn out well. Even after I pointed out areas I could help in where they were sadly lacking, this guy couldn’t understand that I can do more than technical writing.
It appears I’m still in the job market.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
This is what I love…
I found myself in San Francisco this weekend caught completely by surprise at having the best time of my life. It really snuck up on me. There I was, surrounded by beautiful women (Vicky), fellow writers who wanted to know what I thought, actors who admired my work, great food, funny conversation… It was simply amazing.
Then, I came home.
And I realize that real life never stops. I realize that this wonderful ride has to end at some point. I do.
In fact, let me drip a little more reality in before getting back to the wonderfulness so you know I’m not completely full of shit. I have only a few more unemployment checks remaining. In the past five months, I’ve applied for over 70 jobs – 70 that I’ve kept track of – with no response. Zero. Not a phone call. Nothing. For some reason I do not know, my career as a marketing professional appears to have come completely full stop. I will very soon have to take anything I can get: Costco, Target, whatever. I’ll have to do it or lose my home. I know that.
On top of that, my last book (Sleepwalker) received nothing but yawns and disgust from all the agencies and publishers I sent it to. Things are not looking great for me as a novelist.
So, why the hell am I so upbeat?
You know what they say: There’s no talking to an idiot.
No. Wait. That should be: Hope springs eternal.
I just finished my new mystery novel, Once Removed. Not only is it a lot of fun, it is a more sophisticated blend of romance and mystery and family drama. It takes my books to the next level. The next book I write will be another horror novel, my third. Hell, I never thought I’d write my first! The concept, which I won’t get into now, is far above a lot of stuff I see out there. It is really good – and I’m not really a fan of my own horror writing to begin with and I’m saying that. It will take me to that next level.
I’m getting better. I can feel it. Maybe it’s because I just spent a weekend in San Francisco with people who admire my work; I don’t know. It could also be the fact that I now spend an enormous amount of my time writing. You know, like a writer.
Check this out. I just finished the first draft of Once Removed in just over a month. Tomorrow, I’ll start working on my next play. Next week, when I finish the play, I’ll go back and work on rewriting and polishing Once Removed so it’s ready to submit to agencies and publishers. Then, I’ll do the same to the play. Then, I’ll start the next book. This will all happen before April!
That kind of schedule would have been unthinkable for me as recently as two years ago. I am now living and thinking – functioning – as a writer. And, yes, it will all be snatched out of my hands when my unemployment benefits run out in April.
It sucks.
That said, I want to get as much out of it as I can. Yes, this year, I want to write two more books. I also want to write a sequel to Wormfood Island when it comes out. I want Wormfood Island to sell well enough to justify a sequel. I have four more plays in my mind, ready to spring forth. I can do all this this year, easily, if I get the opportunity.
I am looking for that opportunity. I am looking for part-time writing jobs, temp writing jobs, contract writing jobs – hell, I’ll take all kinds of part-time jobs if they give me the opportunity to write.
I am ready to take that next step in my life.
Next month, I have a play being considered for full production in the 2012 season of an LA theater. In April, I have a short play being produced in Hollywood. This sounds like a dream and it kind of is. Sadly, it is not yet the kind of dream that makes money.
And it all comes down to money.
…
This weekend, when asked how I kept up this momentum of mine at the age of 45, I replied, “It doesn’t take any talent or skill. All it takes is blind stupidity. Think of any other job out there and imagine pursuing it for 25 years. Now, imagine someone saying that if you just got a little better they’d pay you. It wouldn’t happen. And yet, here I am.”
I got a bit of a laugh and, to some degree, I believe that.
But, you know, what I didn’t admit was the incredible love I have for what I do, the amazing thrill that comes when I finish a project, get an audience to laugh or to cry, create a book someone just can’t put down. It is an unbelievable experience and I feel fortunate to simply have made it this far.
Now, I want to go just a little farther.
(Yes, I know I'm posting this on both of my blogs but it's one of those things that really transcends both subject matters. This is my life and my love and my path - and it's Vicky's too. Vicky is an enormous part of it. Nothing makes me happer than seeing this through her eyes. I am very lucky.)
Then, I came home.
And I realize that real life never stops. I realize that this wonderful ride has to end at some point. I do.
In fact, let me drip a little more reality in before getting back to the wonderfulness so you know I’m not completely full of shit. I have only a few more unemployment checks remaining. In the past five months, I’ve applied for over 70 jobs – 70 that I’ve kept track of – with no response. Zero. Not a phone call. Nothing. For some reason I do not know, my career as a marketing professional appears to have come completely full stop. I will very soon have to take anything I can get: Costco, Target, whatever. I’ll have to do it or lose my home. I know that.
On top of that, my last book (Sleepwalker) received nothing but yawns and disgust from all the agencies and publishers I sent it to. Things are not looking great for me as a novelist.
So, why the hell am I so upbeat?
You know what they say: There’s no talking to an idiot.
No. Wait. That should be: Hope springs eternal.
I just finished my new mystery novel, Once Removed. Not only is it a lot of fun, it is a more sophisticated blend of romance and mystery and family drama. It takes my books to the next level. The next book I write will be another horror novel, my third. Hell, I never thought I’d write my first! The concept, which I won’t get into now, is far above a lot of stuff I see out there. It is really good – and I’m not really a fan of my own horror writing to begin with and I’m saying that. It will take me to that next level.
I’m getting better. I can feel it. Maybe it’s because I just spent a weekend in San Francisco with people who admire my work; I don’t know. It could also be the fact that I now spend an enormous amount of my time writing. You know, like a writer.
Check this out. I just finished the first draft of Once Removed in just over a month. Tomorrow, I’ll start working on my next play. Next week, when I finish the play, I’ll go back and work on rewriting and polishing Once Removed so it’s ready to submit to agencies and publishers. Then, I’ll do the same to the play. Then, I’ll start the next book. This will all happen before April!
That kind of schedule would have been unthinkable for me as recently as two years ago. I am now living and thinking – functioning – as a writer. And, yes, it will all be snatched out of my hands when my unemployment benefits run out in April.
It sucks.
That said, I want to get as much out of it as I can. Yes, this year, I want to write two more books. I also want to write a sequel to Wormfood Island when it comes out. I want Wormfood Island to sell well enough to justify a sequel. I have four more plays in my mind, ready to spring forth. I can do all this this year, easily, if I get the opportunity.
I am looking for that opportunity. I am looking for part-time writing jobs, temp writing jobs, contract writing jobs – hell, I’ll take all kinds of part-time jobs if they give me the opportunity to write.
I am ready to take that next step in my life.
Next month, I have a play being considered for full production in the 2012 season of an LA theater. In April, I have a short play being produced in Hollywood. This sounds like a dream and it kind of is. Sadly, it is not yet the kind of dream that makes money.
And it all comes down to money.
…
This weekend, when asked how I kept up this momentum of mine at the age of 45, I replied, “It doesn’t take any talent or skill. All it takes is blind stupidity. Think of any other job out there and imagine pursuing it for 25 years. Now, imagine someone saying that if you just got a little better they’d pay you. It wouldn’t happen. And yet, here I am.”
I got a bit of a laugh and, to some degree, I believe that.
But, you know, what I didn’t admit was the incredible love I have for what I do, the amazing thrill that comes when I finish a project, get an audience to laugh or to cry, create a book someone just can’t put down. It is an unbelievable experience and I feel fortunate to simply have made it this far.
Now, I want to go just a little farther.
(Yes, I know I'm posting this on both of my blogs but it's one of those things that really transcends both subject matters. This is my life and my love and my path - and it's Vicky's too. Vicky is an enormous part of it. Nothing makes me happer than seeing this through her eyes. I am very lucky.)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
My greatest fear…
Let me start this with a brief primer: Vicky is wonderful and I love her more than I can tell you. She supports me completely. She’s my biggest fan. What more can I ask for?
Got it?
So, let me jump to the chase. Things have gone from bad to worse on the job front and I am seriously floundering. It’s pretty bad – but that’s not the worst part.
Vicky is experiencing a time in her professional life that can’t be beat. She is experiencing victory after victory and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Meanwhile, life is taking one big fat dump after another on me. It’s really difficult to get out of bed some days because things just keep getting worse.
What does this have to do with my greatest fear? It’s like this: one of these days it will be perfectly understandable for Vicky to want someone who isn’t so terribly unfortunate in his career, someone with a job, say. When that day comes, it would be perfectly understandable for her to cut her losses and move on.
I’m in this position through no fault of my own but there’s no denying how horrible my luck has been. I am terribly afraid my one bit of luck remaining, that being the fact that Vicky always comes home to me, is going to take a dive, too.
I don’t write this because I want feedback or advice. I just want to put that out there because it is eating away at my insides and maybe getting it out will help.
Got it?
So, let me jump to the chase. Things have gone from bad to worse on the job front and I am seriously floundering. It’s pretty bad – but that’s not the worst part.
Vicky is experiencing a time in her professional life that can’t be beat. She is experiencing victory after victory and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Meanwhile, life is taking one big fat dump after another on me. It’s really difficult to get out of bed some days because things just keep getting worse.
What does this have to do with my greatest fear? It’s like this: one of these days it will be perfectly understandable for Vicky to want someone who isn’t so terribly unfortunate in his career, someone with a job, say. When that day comes, it would be perfectly understandable for her to cut her losses and move on.
I’m in this position through no fault of my own but there’s no denying how horrible my luck has been. I am terribly afraid my one bit of luck remaining, that being the fact that Vicky always comes home to me, is going to take a dive, too.
I don’t write this because I want feedback or advice. I just want to put that out there because it is eating away at my insides and maybe getting it out will help.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
My unemployment story…
I haven’t talked about this in a while, mostly because I don’t want to get maudlin. I know you probably read about it; it’s out there. I’m unemployed. The longer I’m unemployed things in my life evolve and I realized I hadn’t really been talking about them. Then, I read a review of the new film, The Company Men.
It inspired me to write an update on my situation when I read the line, “If two highly skilled and qualified people are making more money than two underperforming but lesser paid employees, guess which two get the axe.” That’s essentially what happened to me. In my case, there were two people in the department and one needed to be laid off. I was paid more but had much more experience and know-how. My co-worker was paid less. I was chosen for extermination. I still speak to my ex-co-worker and hear her complain about how they make her work and how she can’t fart around. Meanwhile, I’m unemployed – that’s what I call empathy.
In the past two years, I’ve gone through every high and low. I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs for a handful of interviews. In those interviews, I’ve been made to feel like shit, as though my situation must be my fault. I’ve been given plenty of false hope, practically having jobs promised to me. I’ve grown so desensitized that I think if I did get employed I wouldn’t believe it.
Meanwhile, there’s my lovely wife, Vicky. She’s doing great and I am very proud of her. Fortunately, I outgrew that dumb instinct that says the man has to make more than the woman a long time ago. I know she’s got her head on straight in the business world and this is her time. More than that, I realize she’s using her fortune to my advantage.
Vicky has encouraged me to use my time off to work on my writing career and that just makes me so happy. In my life, I’ve never really had someone go to bat for me before. Granted, I still work on finding a job, just in case. I work temp jobs. I take any opportunity that comes my way, which has helped extend my unemployment benefits.
In the last two years, I haven’t gone two weeks without working on a new project. I’ve written several books and more plays. More than that, though, Vicky has taken an active role in helping me get the word out to agents, publishers, and theater folk. The results have been measurable. My first book is being published this year. If that was the only result it would be amazing, but there’s more. I recently took a look at the responses my work is getting and word is getting out. I now have over a dozen agents and publishers who have asked to see my books. For my plays, that number increases four-fold! That means people are seeking me out. My friend, Eric, calls it “momentum”. I call it “luck” and I hope it’ll hold.
Unemployment has been rough, no lie. We are living on a razor’s edge financially and things are not easy. When my unemployment runs out, I may be working at Target or the first minimum wage job that takes me. But to know my wife loves me enough to encourage me now when times are hard tells me she’ll be there in the future, too. I’ll take the first job that comes my way but the progress I’m seeing with my writing may may mean I won’t need to.
Either way, I know others have it far worse and I’m a pretty lucky guy, all things considered.
It inspired me to write an update on my situation when I read the line, “If two highly skilled and qualified people are making more money than two underperforming but lesser paid employees, guess which two get the axe.” That’s essentially what happened to me. In my case, there were two people in the department and one needed to be laid off. I was paid more but had much more experience and know-how. My co-worker was paid less. I was chosen for extermination. I still speak to my ex-co-worker and hear her complain about how they make her work and how she can’t fart around. Meanwhile, I’m unemployed – that’s what I call empathy.
In the past two years, I’ve gone through every high and low. I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs for a handful of interviews. In those interviews, I’ve been made to feel like shit, as though my situation must be my fault. I’ve been given plenty of false hope, practically having jobs promised to me. I’ve grown so desensitized that I think if I did get employed I wouldn’t believe it.
Meanwhile, there’s my lovely wife, Vicky. She’s doing great and I am very proud of her. Fortunately, I outgrew that dumb instinct that says the man has to make more than the woman a long time ago. I know she’s got her head on straight in the business world and this is her time. More than that, I realize she’s using her fortune to my advantage.
Vicky has encouraged me to use my time off to work on my writing career and that just makes me so happy. In my life, I’ve never really had someone go to bat for me before. Granted, I still work on finding a job, just in case. I work temp jobs. I take any opportunity that comes my way, which has helped extend my unemployment benefits.
In the last two years, I haven’t gone two weeks without working on a new project. I’ve written several books and more plays. More than that, though, Vicky has taken an active role in helping me get the word out to agents, publishers, and theater folk. The results have been measurable. My first book is being published this year. If that was the only result it would be amazing, but there’s more. I recently took a look at the responses my work is getting and word is getting out. I now have over a dozen agents and publishers who have asked to see my books. For my plays, that number increases four-fold! That means people are seeking me out. My friend, Eric, calls it “momentum”. I call it “luck” and I hope it’ll hold.
Unemployment has been rough, no lie. We are living on a razor’s edge financially and things are not easy. When my unemployment runs out, I may be working at Target or the first minimum wage job that takes me. But to know my wife loves me enough to encourage me now when times are hard tells me she’ll be there in the future, too. I’ll take the first job that comes my way but the progress I’m seeing with my writing may may mean I won’t need to.
Either way, I know others have it far worse and I’m a pretty lucky guy, all things considered.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
And so we reach the end of another...
(NOTE: This went out to my friends and family in email form but I know there are plenty of you who keep up via the blog, so...)
It’s the end of a decade – the end of the decade nobody knew what to call. “The Shrub Era”? “The Oughts”? Now people can comfortably settle into the teens and how nice that will be… I’m sure we all hope…
I would like to say a word or two about this past year, 2009, but before I do that – a word or two about this decade. You might say this was a pretty bad year for me, unemployed for 11 months without a nibble on a job or a sale, but please consider… I began this decade with the loss of my first wife and spent four or five or six or seven years finding my way out of those mires. I’ve lost friends, Megan foremost among them. I lost my father. I went to the Grand Canyon to try and kill myself and found that self-destruction does not end when you step away from the edge. All in all, there were other years I would wish to repeat far less than the one that just past.
This past decade held more than its share of lovely memories as well. This was the decade of Vicky. I won’t say we never have our problems but there’s no one I would rather have them with. This was the decade I returned to the stage. I wrote my first play in this decade. Imagine this for a second: in the last 10 years (yes, I’m going back to 1999 – sorry – chronology sucks), I have completed nine novels and 12 full-length plays. My sales record may be abysmal but I’ve had four staged readings and I can say that with every novel or play my quality improves just a little bit. I have learned that being an artist is not about making money and I have found fulfillment in that. This achievement is due mostly to my first book on philosophy, a memoir called Climbing Maya.
I’ve been blessed – in a completely unreligious, non-spooky supernatural way, I assure you – with the gifts of so many people. Annie and Lori convinced me to write my first play. Steve offered to direct it before he even saw it. Sherryl and Chris and Stephanie and Tony have worked with me along the way, supporting me with their amazing talents – especially Stephanie who is my most dedicated fan and who has cheered me on all along the way despite my lack of monetary compensation. Eric has inspired me to take my writing to the next level and, along with the Orange County Playwrights Alliance, have provided me a home amongst peers. Sean has been a friend who has stood by me every step of the way, through some of the worst times for us both. And my family – the screwiest bunch of lunatics you ever want to meet – has popped in and out, together and apart, for too many weddings and too many funerals and not enough lottery winnings. Then, there are those I met, those who came back into my life, and those who left, all adding to a cast of characters I could never measure up to in any of my writing. And then, there is Vicky. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have started writing again after a significant drought. She married me in the good times and has stuck by me in bad. Heck, she’s kept the trains running on time while I’ve been off on this artistic excursion. (Yes, we recently acquired trains…) She started out refusing to be “a fan” and is now one of my biggest. She’s the best friend I could hope for and she’s also a colossal pain in my ass and I consider myself lucky.
It’s been one hell of a decade, is what I’m saying.
So, this year hasn’t been the worst. It didn’t need to be the best… would’ve been nice, but… Say what you want about unemployment and what you like about the economy, here’s what I got. I’ve had eleven months to pursue being an artist, which is something most people don’t get. That pursuit produced eleven plays and the beginnings of my next novel – good work including a play about finding your way after the death of a loved one, crazy work including a Marx Brother’s comedy with one protracted poop joke, political work about the death of ethics, and one very surreal absurdist piece that makes me believe I’ve finally after all these years created actual art. It wasn’t the year I wanted. It was the year I got.
This might not have been the decade I wanted when I rang it in with a certain someone so many years ago but it was the one I got. So it is with everything. So it is with life.
And so I close with a suggestion that you may not have the happiest new year and the next decade may not bring everything you want, but it will be what it will be. Find the good times, find the loveliness, and share them with those who matter to you most. That’s what one decade has taught me.
It’s the end of a decade – the end of the decade nobody knew what to call. “The Shrub Era”? “The Oughts”? Now people can comfortably settle into the teens and how nice that will be… I’m sure we all hope…
I would like to say a word or two about this past year, 2009, but before I do that – a word or two about this decade. You might say this was a pretty bad year for me, unemployed for 11 months without a nibble on a job or a sale, but please consider… I began this decade with the loss of my first wife and spent four or five or six or seven years finding my way out of those mires. I’ve lost friends, Megan foremost among them. I lost my father. I went to the Grand Canyon to try and kill myself and found that self-destruction does not end when you step away from the edge. All in all, there were other years I would wish to repeat far less than the one that just past.
This past decade held more than its share of lovely memories as well. This was the decade of Vicky. I won’t say we never have our problems but there’s no one I would rather have them with. This was the decade I returned to the stage. I wrote my first play in this decade. Imagine this for a second: in the last 10 years (yes, I’m going back to 1999 – sorry – chronology sucks), I have completed nine novels and 12 full-length plays. My sales record may be abysmal but I’ve had four staged readings and I can say that with every novel or play my quality improves just a little bit. I have learned that being an artist is not about making money and I have found fulfillment in that. This achievement is due mostly to my first book on philosophy, a memoir called Climbing Maya.
I’ve been blessed – in a completely unreligious, non-spooky supernatural way, I assure you – with the gifts of so many people. Annie and Lori convinced me to write my first play. Steve offered to direct it before he even saw it. Sherryl and Chris and Stephanie and Tony have worked with me along the way, supporting me with their amazing talents – especially Stephanie who is my most dedicated fan and who has cheered me on all along the way despite my lack of monetary compensation. Eric has inspired me to take my writing to the next level and, along with the Orange County Playwrights Alliance, have provided me a home amongst peers. Sean has been a friend who has stood by me every step of the way, through some of the worst times for us both. And my family – the screwiest bunch of lunatics you ever want to meet – has popped in and out, together and apart, for too many weddings and too many funerals and not enough lottery winnings. Then, there are those I met, those who came back into my life, and those who left, all adding to a cast of characters I could never measure up to in any of my writing. And then, there is Vicky. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have started writing again after a significant drought. She married me in the good times and has stuck by me in bad. Heck, she’s kept the trains running on time while I’ve been off on this artistic excursion. (Yes, we recently acquired trains…) She started out refusing to be “a fan” and is now one of my biggest. She’s the best friend I could hope for and she’s also a colossal pain in my ass and I consider myself lucky.
It’s been one hell of a decade, is what I’m saying.
So, this year hasn’t been the worst. It didn’t need to be the best… would’ve been nice, but… Say what you want about unemployment and what you like about the economy, here’s what I got. I’ve had eleven months to pursue being an artist, which is something most people don’t get. That pursuit produced eleven plays and the beginnings of my next novel – good work including a play about finding your way after the death of a loved one, crazy work including a Marx Brother’s comedy with one protracted poop joke, political work about the death of ethics, and one very surreal absurdist piece that makes me believe I’ve finally after all these years created actual art. It wasn’t the year I wanted. It was the year I got.
This might not have been the decade I wanted when I rang it in with a certain someone so many years ago but it was the one I got. So it is with everything. So it is with life.
And so I close with a suggestion that you may not have the happiest new year and the next decade may not bring everything you want, but it will be what it will be. Find the good times, find the loveliness, and share them with those who matter to you most. That’s what one decade has taught me.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Late after a turkey…
I should probably be sleeping but, as usual, I’m in front of my keyboard and pecking away.
We had a very nice Thanksgiving dinner this year. As usual, Vicky’s cooking was superb. And we had her friend, Julie, over because we didn’t want her to be alone on the holiday. We invited over some other friends but they missed out. Vicky does a wonderful job as a hostess and I wish I made some money so we could afford to do it more… but, oh well.
I finished the new play this week, which I believe is my fourth new, full-length play of the year. That’s about one every three months! So, as much as I’m hurting for work, I’m still producing some good stuff. This play is a post-apocalyptic musical farce – and my friend, Stephanie, says that now I’m creating my own genres. I consider it more of a mash-up but that’s just me.
Now, I’m doing what I normally do after I finish a project… which is thinking about the next project. One of the nice things about being me – one of the benefits of living in my skin – is that I’m never short on ideas. I have two novels that I had started recently but never finished. One is a children’s book, which I think of as Harry Potter without the magic. I like the idea of a kid in a magical world who can’t do the magic, who really has to deal with being a little kid. The other book is one I really liked; it was what I called a neorealist novel. Inspired by Bicycle Thieves, one of my favorite films, I began writing a book about two people in an abandoned train station in Arizona. It was very gritty and dark and I was loving it… then, I got laid off and that screwed that up. In addition, I have a couple ideas for plays. One is inspired by an idea I have called The Eternal Jew, and the idea is of this Nazi guard in a concentration camp who keeps seeing the same Jew dying in a gas chamber. He sees it over and over, a reflection of his mounting guilt. Of course, the play wouldn’t be about these people; it would take place here and now and use that idea as a starting point. So, you have a regular guy like me who sees the same homeless person out on the street. The play would deal with what that does to a person – to both people, actually. Then, there’s your more typical “Ken” play, which I’m calling The Sandwich and deals with people looking for meaning in every act – even making a sandwich.
I list all of these ideas because I am not compelled to work on any one. This is refreshing and I’m hoping to use whatever break I might have to recharge my batteries a bit. I keep thinking, though, that I may be done with comedies for a while. Of course, last time I said that I went on to write The Death of Ethics – so take that for what it’s worth.
As the year winds down, I try to reflect on some greater narrative than “I was unemployed all year long.” As true as that might be, it feels like shit. So, it’s important to realize there was more there. For instance, I finished seven plays (four full-length) and that was pretty outstanding. I had a staged reading that went very well. I got to do some gardening and took up jogging again after many years. So there is a larger narrative to keep in mind and I’m going to try and remain upbeat.
Anyway, I know several people who are going on their second or third year without steady work so I figure I’m actually pretty lucky. That said, think I’ll go to bed now. G’night.
We had a very nice Thanksgiving dinner this year. As usual, Vicky’s cooking was superb. And we had her friend, Julie, over because we didn’t want her to be alone on the holiday. We invited over some other friends but they missed out. Vicky does a wonderful job as a hostess and I wish I made some money so we could afford to do it more… but, oh well.
I finished the new play this week, which I believe is my fourth new, full-length play of the year. That’s about one every three months! So, as much as I’m hurting for work, I’m still producing some good stuff. This play is a post-apocalyptic musical farce – and my friend, Stephanie, says that now I’m creating my own genres. I consider it more of a mash-up but that’s just me.
Now, I’m doing what I normally do after I finish a project… which is thinking about the next project. One of the nice things about being me – one of the benefits of living in my skin – is that I’m never short on ideas. I have two novels that I had started recently but never finished. One is a children’s book, which I think of as Harry Potter without the magic. I like the idea of a kid in a magical world who can’t do the magic, who really has to deal with being a little kid. The other book is one I really liked; it was what I called a neorealist novel. Inspired by Bicycle Thieves, one of my favorite films, I began writing a book about two people in an abandoned train station in Arizona. It was very gritty and dark and I was loving it… then, I got laid off and that screwed that up. In addition, I have a couple ideas for plays. One is inspired by an idea I have called The Eternal Jew, and the idea is of this Nazi guard in a concentration camp who keeps seeing the same Jew dying in a gas chamber. He sees it over and over, a reflection of his mounting guilt. Of course, the play wouldn’t be about these people; it would take place here and now and use that idea as a starting point. So, you have a regular guy like me who sees the same homeless person out on the street. The play would deal with what that does to a person – to both people, actually. Then, there’s your more typical “Ken” play, which I’m calling The Sandwich and deals with people looking for meaning in every act – even making a sandwich.
I list all of these ideas because I am not compelled to work on any one. This is refreshing and I’m hoping to use whatever break I might have to recharge my batteries a bit. I keep thinking, though, that I may be done with comedies for a while. Of course, last time I said that I went on to write The Death of Ethics – so take that for what it’s worth.
As the year winds down, I try to reflect on some greater narrative than “I was unemployed all year long.” As true as that might be, it feels like shit. So, it’s important to realize there was more there. For instance, I finished seven plays (four full-length) and that was pretty outstanding. I had a staged reading that went very well. I got to do some gardening and took up jogging again after many years. So there is a larger narrative to keep in mind and I’m going to try and remain upbeat.
Anyway, I know several people who are going on their second or third year without steady work so I figure I’m actually pretty lucky. That said, think I’ll go to bed now. G’night.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Checking in…
Hello. I know. It’s been a while. But, hey, I’ve been busy.
For an unemployed bloke, I’m really busy.
… how the hell am I so busy?...
Got me. But it seems I never have a minute these days.
We’re getting ready for the big day, the big reading. It’s this weekend and, as usual, I have mixed emotions. Oh, the actors are doing a great job, of course, but the folks at the theater can’t be less cooperative. And while I’ve heard great news about people being there from several theaters, I am learning who really is my friend and who isn’t. The folks who are suddenly very busy when you need them. This kind of thing separates the friends from the phoneys, let me tell ya.
Of course, I expend a lot of energy looking for work. Finding nothing. Very frustrating. So, I’ve also been focusing on sending as much out to agents and publishers as I can – and find myself met by rotten news about the economy there as well. Turns out plenty of them will be very up front about only wanting to work with people who can guaranty big sales numbers… and here I thought writing a good book would be enough...
It’s easy to lose faith when things are down like this but I’m trying not to. Even if I have to go through the motions, I’ll do that so long as the motions move me forward. Even as a terrible panic, the one that set in the day I lost my job, looms larger and larger and I make myself busier and busier in the hopes that something will help, I try to remember how fortunate I am. Because I honestly am.
And then, I forget to drop a blog on a regular basis… so to speak…
Anyway… hello.
For an unemployed bloke, I’m really busy.
… how the hell am I so busy?...
Got me. But it seems I never have a minute these days.
We’re getting ready for the big day, the big reading. It’s this weekend and, as usual, I have mixed emotions. Oh, the actors are doing a great job, of course, but the folks at the theater can’t be less cooperative. And while I’ve heard great news about people being there from several theaters, I am learning who really is my friend and who isn’t. The folks who are suddenly very busy when you need them. This kind of thing separates the friends from the phoneys, let me tell ya.
Of course, I expend a lot of energy looking for work. Finding nothing. Very frustrating. So, I’ve also been focusing on sending as much out to agents and publishers as I can – and find myself met by rotten news about the economy there as well. Turns out plenty of them will be very up front about only wanting to work with people who can guaranty big sales numbers… and here I thought writing a good book would be enough...
It’s easy to lose faith when things are down like this but I’m trying not to. Even if I have to go through the motions, I’ll do that so long as the motions move me forward. Even as a terrible panic, the one that set in the day I lost my job, looms larger and larger and I make myself busier and busier in the hopes that something will help, I try to remember how fortunate I am. Because I honestly am.
And then, I forget to drop a blog on a regular basis… so to speak…
Anyway… hello.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Too busy to do nothing…
As usual, or at least as recently, the title is a dig against myself. I have a lot I want to do but I also have a lot I have to do while simultaneously having nothing to do.
Wait. Let me try that again.
I’ve got a big interview tomorrow for an e-commerce job, developing strategies for e-commerce sales, etc. etc. I felt pretty prepared. I had a great Powerpoint presentation ready to go that showed how the company could effectively innovate their e-marketing with little outlay… and then I received an email, which said in effect, “We want you to change everything but please don’t change anything. We like things just as they are.” So, I’m supposed to impress them by being unimpressive. No matter, it just means I’ll have to tap dance better than I thought.
Things for the reading are coming together as they fall apart. I lost one actor. His father is sick and, after losing my own dad, I know how much it means to spend what time you can with an ailing parent. Now, the call is out to an LA comedian that might just fit the bill. He’s tied up to two other shows in addition to his own so I’m not entirely sure he’ll be up to it. If he’s not, I figure I’m going to step in and fill the part. I’ve done it before – the writer/director/actor thing – so it wouldn’t be the first time. Meanwhile, it turns out one of my actors just happens to have they keys to a local theater where he’s allowed quite a few liberties – so we may just have an unexpected source of rehearsal space. This is good because as helpful as Sean is being I hate to impose impose impose. (I prefer to keep it to twice.)
So, I’m getting things ready for this interview and assembling blocking notes for the reading… all the while wanting very much to start writing something new. I just finished a long string of comedies: Sometimes We Find Our Way, Murder Zombies The Devil and Stuff, Diamonds To Go… I don’t have a joke left, couldn’t be funny if you paid me. (Okay, maybe if you paid me.) Right now, my thoughts are turned to writing something angry and emotionally messy. Once I get some time, I’m sure I’ll do just that – the dig in the title is a reflection on how much success I’ve met with my plays. But I keep writing them.
And that brings up a point I’ve been considering all day. Anyone out there with artistic inclinations of any kind may relate to this. After all the books I’ve written and plays I’ve written, somehow from somewhere deep inside me they keep coming. I’ve known writers who gave up in their teens. I’ve know other writers who still write but it’s the same story they’ve been writing for twenty years. They never grow. So, I’ve got to wonder when my turn is coming and if it will come before I find any success off the crap. After all, I’m not getting any younger. In fact, I’m pretty damn old. Every new book or play could be the last one I write and I’m very aware of this, so I consciously set out to make sure I’m getting the most bang for my creative buck. They day will come when I won’t be able to produce anymore. I want it to be worth it.
I actually have two readings in November, which caused some confusion with one of my actors. I could think of far worse fates than that, believe me.
Wait. Let me try that again.
I’ve got a big interview tomorrow for an e-commerce job, developing strategies for e-commerce sales, etc. etc. I felt pretty prepared. I had a great Powerpoint presentation ready to go that showed how the company could effectively innovate their e-marketing with little outlay… and then I received an email, which said in effect, “We want you to change everything but please don’t change anything. We like things just as they are.” So, I’m supposed to impress them by being unimpressive. No matter, it just means I’ll have to tap dance better than I thought.
Things for the reading are coming together as they fall apart. I lost one actor. His father is sick and, after losing my own dad, I know how much it means to spend what time you can with an ailing parent. Now, the call is out to an LA comedian that might just fit the bill. He’s tied up to two other shows in addition to his own so I’m not entirely sure he’ll be up to it. If he’s not, I figure I’m going to step in and fill the part. I’ve done it before – the writer/director/actor thing – so it wouldn’t be the first time. Meanwhile, it turns out one of my actors just happens to have they keys to a local theater where he’s allowed quite a few liberties – so we may just have an unexpected source of rehearsal space. This is good because as helpful as Sean is being I hate to impose impose impose. (I prefer to keep it to twice.)
So, I’m getting things ready for this interview and assembling blocking notes for the reading… all the while wanting very much to start writing something new. I just finished a long string of comedies: Sometimes We Find Our Way, Murder Zombies The Devil and Stuff, Diamonds To Go… I don’t have a joke left, couldn’t be funny if you paid me. (Okay, maybe if you paid me.) Right now, my thoughts are turned to writing something angry and emotionally messy. Once I get some time, I’m sure I’ll do just that – the dig in the title is a reflection on how much success I’ve met with my plays. But I keep writing them.
And that brings up a point I’ve been considering all day. Anyone out there with artistic inclinations of any kind may relate to this. After all the books I’ve written and plays I’ve written, somehow from somewhere deep inside me they keep coming. I’ve known writers who gave up in their teens. I’ve know other writers who still write but it’s the same story they’ve been writing for twenty years. They never grow. So, I’ve got to wonder when my turn is coming and if it will come before I find any success off the crap. After all, I’m not getting any younger. In fact, I’m pretty damn old. Every new book or play could be the last one I write and I’m very aware of this, so I consciously set out to make sure I’m getting the most bang for my creative buck. They day will come when I won’t be able to produce anymore. I want it to be worth it.
I actually have two readings in November, which caused some confusion with one of my actors. I could think of far worse fates than that, believe me.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A fine mess…
Updates. Downdates. Sidedates.
Theatre of the Mind
Vicky gave me a birthday surprise last night, this after I repeatedly told her we were broke and I’d rather just stay home and eat Chinese food. (Granted, for me that’s every day.) In addition to hitting Dizzyland on my birthday, we’ll be going to see The Firesign Theatre live in Hollywood!! Wow!
Talk about “Forward into the Past”!
The idea has struck me as the best way to make me feel old – you know, to go see a group of elderly comics – but what a better way to celebrate the last 44 years? After all, I can think of no single greater influence on my comedy writing because these aren’t guys from another country (like Monty Python) or another time (like the Marx Brothers). These were four or five guys from southern California who got together and recorded absurd sketches and theater of the mind. They didn’t need a film crew; it was something me and my friends could do… if we were funny enough…
Theatre of the Soul
And speaking of funny enough, I’m happy to announce that one of my plays will be having a staged reading in just a few weeks down here in Southern California! I’ve put together my dream cast, some of whom I’ve worked with before and others I haven’t yet worked with, and I’m directing. It’s a very exciting, if stressful, time.
The worst part, though, is that I can’t really tell you when or where or what… I can’t tell you much at all, really.
You see, this blog attracts so much inexplicable hatred from people that I’m afraid of what might happen should one of my least friendly followers decide to go. I’ve had threats on my other blog because I had the audacity to suggest that torture might not be Christian and this has just moved over to this blog as well. Even when I took my more political writing over to the other blog, it seems that people are going to hate me no matter what. Just a couple of weeks ago, when I suggested that my wife and I could not afford a new TV, some anonymous crackpot decided to call me a hypocrite. I couldn’t begin to tell you why.
But those of you who are my friends are more than welcome to come to the show. I extend a laurel and hardy invitation. Just shoot me an email and I’ll give you the details. It is my hope that those who find it so important to spew their hatred at me will eventually grow tired of it and move over to read Glenn Beck’s tirades, where I’m sure they’ll be far more comfortable.
Theatre of the Body
So, I rode my second metric (100 kilometers) of the year this past weekend. I was very pleased because not only was that twice as many metrics as last year but I’m also getting more accustomed to it.
I left here around 8:30am, setting out down the Santa Ana River Trail. I knew it would be cold at the beach but – YIKES – it was freezing! But I kept going up the coast to Long Beach, where I turned around and headed back. It was a beautiful day for all the cold and, though I hurt when I returned, I never once wished I was dead… and that’s new for me!
Cycling season is pretty much wrapped up for me. The weather had taken on an autumnal feel and mornings are just too cold. (I’m a wuss, of course.) So, I’m packing up the bike and putting it in the garage for a few months. The upside to this is that now that I’m jogging, I’ll remain active anyway. I went out for a five mile jog today, bundled up in sweats, and it felt good to be out running again. My body still hates me occasionally but it’s getting better.
I surely prefer this to smoking!
Theatre of the Paycheck
I didn’t know how else to put this but it applies… I guess…
I had a pretty good interview a couple of weeks back and this week will be round two. Round two consists of… well.. how to put this? You see, I went in for a Marketing Communications Writer position – you know, typical Ken-job kinda stuff. Then, they saw my managerial experience and the position changed to Marketing Communications Manager. Then, they saw my experience as a marketing manager and the position changed again. Now, I’m interviewing for an E-Commerce Specialist role, setting goals and creating strategies for online sales.
I’m going in this week with a ten minute presentation on how I believe the company can do just that.
The thing is, of course, that I feel like a fraud because this position is now one I’m normally considered for. You know, there’s a part of me that believes – hey – I’m just a writer. But then, this isn’t that much of a stretch. After all, I did this back at Allied. Somewhere between the two, stress is created… and I’ll just be glad to get this over with. And I hope they like it. Because it would be nice to see a regular paycheck again… it’s been a while…
You know, when I get all that down on paper things look pretty busy around here. They are. And I forgot to mention how great Vicky has been through it all. She has. I can’t wait until she sees my show. Of course, I’ll need to get her to listen to a little Firesign Theatre so she knows what she’s in for up in Hollywood. My guess is she wonders what’s so funny – but that’s just me.
Anyway… lots to look forward to…
Theatre of the Mind
Vicky gave me a birthday surprise last night, this after I repeatedly told her we were broke and I’d rather just stay home and eat Chinese food. (Granted, for me that’s every day.) In addition to hitting Dizzyland on my birthday, we’ll be going to see The Firesign Theatre live in Hollywood!! Wow!
Talk about “Forward into the Past”!
The idea has struck me as the best way to make me feel old – you know, to go see a group of elderly comics – but what a better way to celebrate the last 44 years? After all, I can think of no single greater influence on my comedy writing because these aren’t guys from another country (like Monty Python) or another time (like the Marx Brothers). These were four or five guys from southern California who got together and recorded absurd sketches and theater of the mind. They didn’t need a film crew; it was something me and my friends could do… if we were funny enough…
Theatre of the Soul
And speaking of funny enough, I’m happy to announce that one of my plays will be having a staged reading in just a few weeks down here in Southern California! I’ve put together my dream cast, some of whom I’ve worked with before and others I haven’t yet worked with, and I’m directing. It’s a very exciting, if stressful, time.
The worst part, though, is that I can’t really tell you when or where or what… I can’t tell you much at all, really.
You see, this blog attracts so much inexplicable hatred from people that I’m afraid of what might happen should one of my least friendly followers decide to go. I’ve had threats on my other blog because I had the audacity to suggest that torture might not be Christian and this has just moved over to this blog as well. Even when I took my more political writing over to the other blog, it seems that people are going to hate me no matter what. Just a couple of weeks ago, when I suggested that my wife and I could not afford a new TV, some anonymous crackpot decided to call me a hypocrite. I couldn’t begin to tell you why.
But those of you who are my friends are more than welcome to come to the show. I extend a laurel and hardy invitation. Just shoot me an email and I’ll give you the details. It is my hope that those who find it so important to spew their hatred at me will eventually grow tired of it and move over to read Glenn Beck’s tirades, where I’m sure they’ll be far more comfortable.
Theatre of the Body
So, I rode my second metric (100 kilometers) of the year this past weekend. I was very pleased because not only was that twice as many metrics as last year but I’m also getting more accustomed to it.
I left here around 8:30am, setting out down the Santa Ana River Trail. I knew it would be cold at the beach but – YIKES – it was freezing! But I kept going up the coast to Long Beach, where I turned around and headed back. It was a beautiful day for all the cold and, though I hurt when I returned, I never once wished I was dead… and that’s new for me!
Cycling season is pretty much wrapped up for me. The weather had taken on an autumnal feel and mornings are just too cold. (I’m a wuss, of course.) So, I’m packing up the bike and putting it in the garage for a few months. The upside to this is that now that I’m jogging, I’ll remain active anyway. I went out for a five mile jog today, bundled up in sweats, and it felt good to be out running again. My body still hates me occasionally but it’s getting better.
I surely prefer this to smoking!
Theatre of the Paycheck
I didn’t know how else to put this but it applies… I guess…
I had a pretty good interview a couple of weeks back and this week will be round two. Round two consists of… well.. how to put this? You see, I went in for a Marketing Communications Writer position – you know, typical Ken-job kinda stuff. Then, they saw my managerial experience and the position changed to Marketing Communications Manager. Then, they saw my experience as a marketing manager and the position changed again. Now, I’m interviewing for an E-Commerce Specialist role, setting goals and creating strategies for online sales.
I’m going in this week with a ten minute presentation on how I believe the company can do just that.
The thing is, of course, that I feel like a fraud because this position is now one I’m normally considered for. You know, there’s a part of me that believes – hey – I’m just a writer. But then, this isn’t that much of a stretch. After all, I did this back at Allied. Somewhere between the two, stress is created… and I’ll just be glad to get this over with. And I hope they like it. Because it would be nice to see a regular paycheck again… it’s been a while…
You know, when I get all that down on paper things look pretty busy around here. They are. And I forgot to mention how great Vicky has been through it all. She has. I can’t wait until she sees my show. Of course, I’ll need to get her to listen to a little Firesign Theatre so she knows what she’s in for up in Hollywood. My guess is she wonders what’s so funny – but that’s just me.
Anyway… lots to look forward to…
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
My life in five minutes…
I thought I’d give you a brief update – because as good as Facebook is it certainly does eschew details. That said…
Metric
I’ve been waiting for the right weather to ramp up and get ready to cycle my second metric of the year. (A metric is 100 kilometers.) Every time I think I’m ready we get crazy heat or stupid winds or something like that. This week, it’s cool and while it is breezy it is rather nice. So, I’m getting ready.
The thing about riding a metric, for me, is that it’s basically sado-masochism on wheels. Yesterday, I rode 25 miles (about 40k). I thought, “That hurt,” and went to a 36 mile ride (about 58k) today. That hurt more, so I’ll ride further tomorrow – until I get to 100k this weekend. This I call fun…
Job
I had a rather interesting job interview recently where the employer changed her mind and decided that rather than consider me for a writing position she would consider me for an E-commerce Specialist position. Now, let’s ignore how very under qualified I am… ignoring that, yet? Next week, I’m supposed to give a volley of managers a PowerPoint presentation showing how I change their online strategy and improve their online presence… sure… no problem.
So, I’ve begun working on a strategy I think will work. This job would be mostly strategizing with management possibilities (or so I’m told), so I guess I’ll be ready for a career of improvising should I get the job…
Writing
Can you believe I’ve written six plays in the last eight months? Neither can I! Of course, it would be nice to find a theater that would buy one of them… which, of course, if why nobody should ever be encouraged to pursue writing. Seriously.
And lastly…
Yes, I’ve been negligent in keeping this site up. But when you’re unemployed there’s just not much to talk about. You want to hear about how Vicky and I talked about how we couldn’t afford a new TV? I didn’t think so. Just bear with me. Okay?
In the meantime, I’ve got a birthday coming up. So you’re bound to hear all about a trip to Dizzyland really soon!
Metric
I’ve been waiting for the right weather to ramp up and get ready to cycle my second metric of the year. (A metric is 100 kilometers.) Every time I think I’m ready we get crazy heat or stupid winds or something like that. This week, it’s cool and while it is breezy it is rather nice. So, I’m getting ready.
The thing about riding a metric, for me, is that it’s basically sado-masochism on wheels. Yesterday, I rode 25 miles (about 40k). I thought, “That hurt,” and went to a 36 mile ride (about 58k) today. That hurt more, so I’ll ride further tomorrow – until I get to 100k this weekend. This I call fun…
Job
I had a rather interesting job interview recently where the employer changed her mind and decided that rather than consider me for a writing position she would consider me for an E-commerce Specialist position. Now, let’s ignore how very under qualified I am… ignoring that, yet? Next week, I’m supposed to give a volley of managers a PowerPoint presentation showing how I change their online strategy and improve their online presence… sure… no problem.
So, I’ve begun working on a strategy I think will work. This job would be mostly strategizing with management possibilities (or so I’m told), so I guess I’ll be ready for a career of improvising should I get the job…
Writing
Can you believe I’ve written six plays in the last eight months? Neither can I! Of course, it would be nice to find a theater that would buy one of them… which, of course, if why nobody should ever be encouraged to pursue writing. Seriously.
And lastly…
Yes, I’ve been negligent in keeping this site up. But when you’re unemployed there’s just not much to talk about. You want to hear about how Vicky and I talked about how we couldn’t afford a new TV? I didn’t think so. Just bear with me. Okay?
In the meantime, I’ve got a birthday coming up. So you’re bound to hear all about a trip to Dizzyland really soon!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Submit or be mitted…
I’m in month number… well, wait a minute… Vicky would say it’s the eighth month and I’d say it’s the ninth month… but just saying that means Vicky would probably say it’s actually only the seventh month… anyway, I’ve been unemployed now since the end of January, a pretty damn long time…
But I’m not going to write about that.
See, the thing is I’ve been looking high and low for a job but that’s not all I’ve been doing. I’ve also been working like a dog to get my books and plays out in front of people – you know, agents and publishers – in the hopes that I might be able to get something moving there. I’ve had no luck, yet. And, yes, sometimes like today I get disheartened.
But then I think about this website I saw a few days back. I wish I’d saved it so I could share it with you. The writer talks about how he just sold his first book and he provides a chart of all the submissions he’s done, sending his book out to agents and publishers and what have you… The final tally was over 500. Can you imagine? If he sent out one each week, that would have taken ten years! And that’s not always easy, let me tell you. Some weeks you find two or three places to send stuff but others you come up dry. That must have taken an awfully long time with a great deal of effort.
So, that got me to thinking. How many submissions have I done?
Take my book No More Blue Roses, for instance. That’s gone out to only about 112 agents and publishers, only about one fifth! How about With Eyes to See? Only 98 or so! Wormfood, a horror novel that has seen some of the most strident rejections, has only been rejected about 49 times! And Climbing Maya, which I’ve been faithfully plugging more than any other book, has only been rejected 264 times!
So, what’s my point? Well, on a day when I feel just about as down in the dumps as you can get I figured it would be good to remind myself that this isn’t a sprint and I’ve only started. Heck, I’m 43 years old. I’ve been writing seriously for over 20 years now. I’m proud of what I’ve done and this kind of rejection is no reason to lose heart. Because others have been here before me.
It’s time for me to keep going and not give up. I hope you do, too. They say anything worth it is, well, worth it. I hope we both find out… and soon!
But I’m not going to write about that.
See, the thing is I’ve been looking high and low for a job but that’s not all I’ve been doing. I’ve also been working like a dog to get my books and plays out in front of people – you know, agents and publishers – in the hopes that I might be able to get something moving there. I’ve had no luck, yet. And, yes, sometimes like today I get disheartened.
But then I think about this website I saw a few days back. I wish I’d saved it so I could share it with you. The writer talks about how he just sold his first book and he provides a chart of all the submissions he’s done, sending his book out to agents and publishers and what have you… The final tally was over 500. Can you imagine? If he sent out one each week, that would have taken ten years! And that’s not always easy, let me tell you. Some weeks you find two or three places to send stuff but others you come up dry. That must have taken an awfully long time with a great deal of effort.
So, that got me to thinking. How many submissions have I done?
Take my book No More Blue Roses, for instance. That’s gone out to only about 112 agents and publishers, only about one fifth! How about With Eyes to See? Only 98 or so! Wormfood, a horror novel that has seen some of the most strident rejections, has only been rejected about 49 times! And Climbing Maya, which I’ve been faithfully plugging more than any other book, has only been rejected 264 times!
So, what’s my point? Well, on a day when I feel just about as down in the dumps as you can get I figured it would be good to remind myself that this isn’t a sprint and I’ve only started. Heck, I’m 43 years old. I’ve been writing seriously for over 20 years now. I’m proud of what I’ve done and this kind of rejection is no reason to lose heart. Because others have been here before me.
It’s time for me to keep going and not give up. I hope you do, too. They say anything worth it is, well, worth it. I hope we both find out… and soon!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Finding that job…
A visit to CareerBuilder is basically just a sincere request to get pissed on. Seriously. And I don’t even know why I go there any more – oh, wait. I remember. Because Monster.com shits on you instead. And I’m desperate for a job. And nobody’s there to fucking help.
You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. So, I’ll give you some examples.
According to CB, there have been seven new positions for “Writers” posted in the past seven days within 20 miles of my home. Oh wait, these are the same jobs that have been there since May. These jobs were probably filled months ago; I know that’s when I applied for some of them. Why haven’t I applied for all of them? Well, because some putz at CB thought “writer” also meant , “Movie Extra”, “Software Engineer”, “Senior Accountant”, “Medical System Consultant”, etc. Out of 30 positions, only one was for a writer.
It gets worse. When I look for a positions as a “Marketing Coordinator” (last seven days, within 20 miles), I find 144 new positions! Wow! That’s a lot… if I was a “Graphic Designer” or a “Retail Marketing Leader”. What is that? A “Retail Marketing Leader”? About 100 of the postings are for “Marketing Leaders” of one kind or another (and they all, miraculously, pay $125,000!!!) and they all go to a placement agency. I’m finding this more and more typical. Placement agencies get paid for placing people and don’t give a shit if they con you in with these made up titles, wild promises, etc. They just want warm bodies. “Look,” they say. “We’ve got thousands of potential employees!” All of whom waste their time begging for work and not getting any because there’s no such thing as a “Retail Marketing Leader” position. Aside from those, there are postings for “Movie Extras”, “AVON Sales Representatives”, “Pharmacy Techs”, and on and on. Actually, no “Marketing Coordinator” positions at all.
This same thing happens when I search under other titles. The thing is, there just aren’t a whole lot of jobs out there, so CB cross-posts many of them into areas that have nothing to do with what you want. Their “Marketing Manager” search gives me nursing positions for fucks sake!
And, so, there I am. Pisses on and I asked for it. But I’m desperate. I need a job.
You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. So, I’ll give you some examples.
According to CB, there have been seven new positions for “Writers” posted in the past seven days within 20 miles of my home. Oh wait, these are the same jobs that have been there since May. These jobs were probably filled months ago; I know that’s when I applied for some of them. Why haven’t I applied for all of them? Well, because some putz at CB thought “writer” also meant , “Movie Extra”, “Software Engineer”, “Senior Accountant”, “Medical System Consultant”, etc. Out of 30 positions, only one was for a writer.
It gets worse. When I look for a positions as a “Marketing Coordinator” (last seven days, within 20 miles), I find 144 new positions! Wow! That’s a lot… if I was a “Graphic Designer” or a “Retail Marketing Leader”. What is that? A “Retail Marketing Leader”? About 100 of the postings are for “Marketing Leaders” of one kind or another (and they all, miraculously, pay $125,000!!!) and they all go to a placement agency. I’m finding this more and more typical. Placement agencies get paid for placing people and don’t give a shit if they con you in with these made up titles, wild promises, etc. They just want warm bodies. “Look,” they say. “We’ve got thousands of potential employees!” All of whom waste their time begging for work and not getting any because there’s no such thing as a “Retail Marketing Leader” position. Aside from those, there are postings for “Movie Extras”, “AVON Sales Representatives”, “Pharmacy Techs”, and on and on. Actually, no “Marketing Coordinator” positions at all.
This same thing happens when I search under other titles. The thing is, there just aren’t a whole lot of jobs out there, so CB cross-posts many of them into areas that have nothing to do with what you want. Their “Marketing Manager” search gives me nursing positions for fucks sake!
And, so, there I am. Pisses on and I asked for it. But I’m desperate. I need a job.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Turned down for another job…
I’ve decided that a blog is a good place for depressing news. Facebook is too cute and Twitter’s too short. That’s leaves here. Sorry.
So, as the subject line says, I got turned down again. And the longer I’m out of work, the more it hurts when I get passed up. Hey, I know there are hundreds of thousands of others out there – probably applying for the same job – but this position seemed to be right up my alley. The interview was good. It felt right.
Things started to go wrong, though, with the Thank You letters. I sent them out, using the addresses provided on the business cards of those I interviewed with, and got them back a week later marked “Undeliverable.” The fuck? So, I had to improvise an email, which probably didn’t look great. And today I received a short, form email from HR… it’s just devastating.
Like so many other Americans, I really want to work. I’m sick of being on unemployment insurance. I want to contribute something.
So, I’m going to spend the weekend depressed. I gave up smoking and pretty much gave up drinking… let’s hope I don’t find myself face-down in a half-gallon of ice cream…
So, as the subject line says, I got turned down again. And the longer I’m out of work, the more it hurts when I get passed up. Hey, I know there are hundreds of thousands of others out there – probably applying for the same job – but this position seemed to be right up my alley. The interview was good. It felt right.
Things started to go wrong, though, with the Thank You letters. I sent them out, using the addresses provided on the business cards of those I interviewed with, and got them back a week later marked “Undeliverable.” The fuck? So, I had to improvise an email, which probably didn’t look great. And today I received a short, form email from HR… it’s just devastating.
Like so many other Americans, I really want to work. I’m sick of being on unemployment insurance. I want to contribute something.
So, I’m going to spend the weekend depressed. I gave up smoking and pretty much gave up drinking… let’s hope I don’t find myself face-down in a half-gallon of ice cream…
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Next!...
I don’t know about you, but I’m the kind of person who spends a lot of his time considering what comes next. I know this might come as something of a surprise, since I also spend so much time considering what came before – where do I get the time for now? – but as important as the past is to me, I’m also obsessed with the future. But not the far future – I rarely think in terms of the next decade of my own life – I’m talking about the near future. The next day. The next week. Or the next month.
What’s next?
What’s next?
What’s next?
It’s after midnight as I’m writing this, in an evening in which I’m fairly certain I’m won’t get much sleep if any at all, and I’ve just finished writing seven more pages of the new play. I’m 31 pages in. It’s a silly play, a very dark play, about a murder that the characters are responding to as an oopsie. It’s almost like they spilled milk, except the milk is blood and they spilled it by shooting someone several times at point blank range. It’s a dark comedy, of course, something new to me. It’s a style I admire, though, and I’m very pleased at how easily it’s coming along. Of course, later they raise the dead, have to put down a zombie, and call on the devil. Very strange.
I told Stephanie and Tony and Robert about this at today’s reading and they looked at me as though I was nuts. (Call me typecast.) I feel like people often typecast me as either an serious actor or a comedic actor or a novelist or a playwright – and then a certain type of playwright or a certain type of novelist – but really, I’m all those things. I’m more, too. And I like to grow. I like to surprise myself.
For instance, after this play, I’d like to write a book on ethics. I know my friend (who was first Vicky’s friend) Jennifer, from up Seattle way, won’t like it much. I tend to put her to sleep with stuff like that. But that’s okay. Not everything I write will please everyone. But that’s what’s next – at least, so I thought. More on that in a minute.
The reading of After You Fall went very well today. My writing was received as funny and meaningful, which I like quite a bit. Vicky read and, though novice, did good work. What struck me, though, was how quickly she moved, after it was over, from “that’s over” to “what can I do next?” She immediately started asking me questions about acting. Now, I’m not sure about Vicky as an actress; she doesn’t really strike me as the type. I feel like she’d get her fill very quickly and tire of silly actor people. I don’t know if she’d ever find the fulfillment that’s there because she doesn’t need it as much as I do. To her, it would be intangible and, dare I say, cheap. But you never know.
Anyway, I thought my next thing was going to be a book on Ethics and it might be. However, after the reading was over, I told the actors about this idea I had for a short film. It’s a silly idea, really, not at all meaningful. But it made them laugh and they immediately encouraged me to call a couple of contacts and pitch it. So, I guess I might do that. You never know.
Right now, being out of work as long as I have, the world has become a much larger place. Opportunities can come from any number of directions and I’m trying not to limit myself with how things are usually done. I’m applying for jobs but I’m also trying to sell books and plays, writing new plays, starting new books, and on and on.
Every day, I find myself asking “What’s next?” And every day, the need for an answer becomes that much more urgent.
What’s next?
What’s next?
What’s next?
It’s after midnight as I’m writing this, in an evening in which I’m fairly certain I’m won’t get much sleep if any at all, and I’ve just finished writing seven more pages of the new play. I’m 31 pages in. It’s a silly play, a very dark play, about a murder that the characters are responding to as an oopsie. It’s almost like they spilled milk, except the milk is blood and they spilled it by shooting someone several times at point blank range. It’s a dark comedy, of course, something new to me. It’s a style I admire, though, and I’m very pleased at how easily it’s coming along. Of course, later they raise the dead, have to put down a zombie, and call on the devil. Very strange.
I told Stephanie and Tony and Robert about this at today’s reading and they looked at me as though I was nuts. (Call me typecast.) I feel like people often typecast me as either an serious actor or a comedic actor or a novelist or a playwright – and then a certain type of playwright or a certain type of novelist – but really, I’m all those things. I’m more, too. And I like to grow. I like to surprise myself.
For instance, after this play, I’d like to write a book on ethics. I know my friend (who was first Vicky’s friend) Jennifer, from up Seattle way, won’t like it much. I tend to put her to sleep with stuff like that. But that’s okay. Not everything I write will please everyone. But that’s what’s next – at least, so I thought. More on that in a minute.
The reading of After You Fall went very well today. My writing was received as funny and meaningful, which I like quite a bit. Vicky read and, though novice, did good work. What struck me, though, was how quickly she moved, after it was over, from “that’s over” to “what can I do next?” She immediately started asking me questions about acting. Now, I’m not sure about Vicky as an actress; she doesn’t really strike me as the type. I feel like she’d get her fill very quickly and tire of silly actor people. I don’t know if she’d ever find the fulfillment that’s there because she doesn’t need it as much as I do. To her, it would be intangible and, dare I say, cheap. But you never know.
Anyway, I thought my next thing was going to be a book on Ethics and it might be. However, after the reading was over, I told the actors about this idea I had for a short film. It’s a silly idea, really, not at all meaningful. But it made them laugh and they immediately encouraged me to call a couple of contacts and pitch it. So, I guess I might do that. You never know.
Right now, being out of work as long as I have, the world has become a much larger place. Opportunities can come from any number of directions and I’m trying not to limit myself with how things are usually done. I’m applying for jobs but I’m also trying to sell books and plays, writing new plays, starting new books, and on and on.
Every day, I find myself asking “What’s next?” And every day, the need for an answer becomes that much more urgent.
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