The Monday Morning Show...

My new podcast, called The Monday Morning Show, begins this Monday!

For a few words on how that came about, check out the most recent episode of my other podcast, So Dream Something...

The best 1st date of my life…

On this day, ten years ago, I had the best first date of my life.

I can tell you it was the best first date of my life because, ever since that day, I have wanted nothing more than to be with that woman.

The date lasted seven hours. Seven hours! We met at 4pm and did not go home until 11pm.

The date ended with the best “first date kiss” I had ever experienced. I don’t know if the kiss was made superior by her or me but I can still remember it. (Yes, I’m a romantic that way.) I can still remember how beautiful she was. And she just keeps getting more beautiful.

I know that’s a lot to ask of you, the reader, to believe that she just keeps getting more beautiful. But it’s true. Oh, sure. She’s not perfect. She has her moments when she’s human. But there’s so much more to her than that. She’s really funny and very kind. She’s smarter than I am sometimes – actually, she’s smarter than I am far too often. It’s really kind of annoying, actually…

It was the best first date of my life because I want it to be the last first date of my life.

The date I’m not really describing is my first date with Vicky. You can find a complete description in my book, A Grand Canyon. It wasn’t really Love at first sight but it was certainly Like plus a lot of Lust at first sight. When the love came, the like and lust stuck around as well.

Vicky is downstairs right now, coughing her lungs out.

You see, we were supposed to go out on our first date again tonight, reliving it in as much detail as manageable. But then, our dog Suki got sick. And then, Vicky got sick. And I guess our first date it not to be… again… We’ll just have to leave it in the history book.

But I suppose our disappointment is a sign as well. We both wanted to do this because we both have a connection with that night ten years ago.

As for myself, I’m just happy I’ve had these ten years. Vicky quite literally rocked my world.

Happy Anniversary, my love. Let’s do another ten.

Kristallnacht down the street

I saw something this morning while I was out on my jog, something that will take me some time to shake off.

You see, under a local overpass a small community of homeless people recently sprang up. They spring up just about every few months or so but they don’t leave voluntarily.

This morning, I saw why they leave. I saw two dump trucks and four police cars pull up. The police moved the homeless over to one side. And the garbage men took all of the belongings – the few belongings these homeless people had – and threw all of their things into the garbage trucks. The homeless weren’t arrested. They were just shoed away like dogs.

It brought to mind something from a long time ago. It brought to mind Kristallnacht.

Now, I understand that some people might get offended by this, by my comparing our local police to nazi thugs.

But what happened on Kristallnacht? On that night, so long ago, police came around and destroyed the property of a group of people they didn’t want to have around anymore.

That was exactly what happened this morning.

And it troubles me that we can do this and not feel at all ashamed or in any way bothered by what we do. We’ve given up on finding a solution to the problem of homelessness. We just shoe them away like dogs and throw away their stuff.

Leaving them to start again.

Leaving them worse off than before.

Leaving us… appeased. Out of sight. Out of mind.

We should hang our heads.

I’m probably going to talk about this next month, in my final episode of 5 Brief Minutes but, for now, I just had to say something.

Because it makes me sick.

In 5 Brief Minutes... Is Gun Ownership UnAmerican?...

Why have rules for life?...

As I continue to analyze the rules for life, I ask an appropriate staring question, "Why should we even have rules for life?"

You can read all about it by giving this link a click!

Something you usually only see on TV…

So, I was out on the river trail this morning for my morning jog when I saw something I could have sworn I would only see on TV.

Passing me on the trail, two beach cruiser bicycles came along my right side.

I could see the two riders very clearly in the cool, morning sunlight, a fat, bald, white guy and a beautiful woman with grey to white hair. The man wore beige trousers, a short-sleeved shirt, and a blue/green vest of some kind. The woman wore a long, white dress and a white hat with a wide brim. Neither wore helmets. Both looked incredibly out of place and terribly overdressed to be on the trail.

But then, as they pulled ahead, I realized nobody else was anywhere nearby. And I could watch them ride off through the dappling shade.

I stopped.

And I said, because this had to be said out loud. “Oh, my God. I just got passed by a Viagra commercial.”

Jackemoff Forest returns once again with "Republic Annie"...

So Dream Something gets a little fishy...

This month's episode of So Dream Something is a little fishy.
I talk to James Krause, co-founder of Rivers to Reef, about aquaculture and The American Dream.
I hope you enjoy it.

5 Brief Minutes on Income Disparity and why people keep trying to sell me shit...

Two for the sofa…

This was a week I saw coming a mile away.

You ever have one of those weeks? The kind that you’ve been predicting for some time, saying things like, “One of these days, we’re going to have to…” and then you do?

That was this week.

For months now, I’ve been saying to Vicky, “We’re going to have to start keeping Suki downstairs at night. She just can’t take the stairs the way she used to.” Suki is our Shiba Inu. She’s about 14. (This is the point where Vicky will correct me. I’m terrible with these things.) Where she used to be able to trot up and down our stairs several times each day, recently, she’s been slipping and sliding. Her back legs have been going out on her. She stumbles.

It’s just not pretty.

So, this was the week. Suki moved downstairs.

And though I hadn’t been mentioning this next bit to Vicky, I knew what would go right alongside that – right alongside Suki, I mean. Me. That’s what would go alongside of her. Me.

I had to move downstairs, too.

Because Suki did not like moving downstairs at all. Not one bit. She would begin crying and the only thing that put her at ease was another person with her. And Vicky needed the bed. Vicky works a real job.

So, downstairs I moved. Suki took her dog bed. I took the sofa.

And, let me tell you, my back is not built of solid steel, the way it once was. Nope. Now, when I sleep on the sofa, my back kind of conforms to its horrible curves. I wake up feeling like a dingbat font.

But this is what you do. You know? If we had kids, I’d be up with them. If we had an elderly parent living with us, I’d be… you know what, I don’t want to think about that. Anyway, Suki is like an elderly parent. And she needs me.

She’s stinky and she sheds. She’s standoffish and never listens. But she needs me.

This is what you do.

Jackemoff Forest? The strangest new web series from Ken La Salle begins... NOW!

Heroes of the PCT…

As much as that title sounds like it belongs in the old west, I’m actually writing today because the big kickoff for this year’s Pacific Crest Trail expeditions (north to south) begins in less than a week!

You may ask yourself, “Why are you excited about this?” And you’d have every right. After all, I’m not hiking the PCT this year. Hell, I haven’t even gone on a hike this year.

(I suck!)

But, see, the thing is I really want to do the PCT. And my goal is to do it within the next five years or so. To do that, I’m learning what I can, getting my body into shape, and most importantly I’m getting my career off the ground so I can afford to do the hike. (Pacific Crest Trail thru-hiking ain’t cheap!)

In the meantime, I watch and learn from those who go before me. I read blogs. I watch YouTube videos and I am intensely envious of those who are doing it. You gotta admire someone who makes that kind of commitment and puts in that much effort.

So, bravo heroes of the PCT! You’re all doing something majorly kick-ass! And I’ll be watching and hoping for the best.

Maybe I’ll be out there very soon…

5 Brief MInutes returns with Signs...

A Tale of Two iPods…

A few years back, I cancelled my gym membership because I realized I could do everything I did at the gym much closer to home. Actually, at home! I could jog and I could cycle and I could exercise and all without the stink and sweat of horrible people all around me. I could do all of this without having to watch Fox News, which 24 Hour Fitness seemed to love putting in front of me. And I could do it all to the beat of my own drum… er, iPod.

I didn’t have to listen to the same crappy music they played at the gym over and over and over and over again.

And that’s what I did. I started jogging and cycling and exercising, all to the tunes I had on my iPod Nano, which clipped right onto my shirt. I was saving money and getting a better workout as well!

… all until the day when I lost my iPod.

That’s the problem with the Nano, you see. It’s small enough to clip to my shirt – well, the Gen 6 version I had – but also small enough to MISPLACE! And that’s exactly what I did about a week ago.

And lengthy, intense search commenced… and I found nothing.

Damn!

Worse still, Apple has discontinued the good Nano (Gen 6) and replaced it with some oversized, overweighted, big, fat, stupid looking… Gen 7. The dummies… Seriously. Have you seen these things? They’re hardly small enough to be considered “nano” at all!

What to do?

Well, as it turned out, Vicky had picked up a Gen 6 Nano at about the same time as me – lo, those many years ago. She’d never loaded hers up with music. It was fresh. It was (dare I say) virginal!

And it was mine! (Once Vicky generously offered to let me “borrow” it.)

And I learned something interesting about iPods. It was something I hadn’t really suspected.

You see, I had loaded up my previously Nano a little at a time. Whenever I purchased some new music, I would throw some of it on the iPod.

Now, faced with a fresh iPod, I had to load it all up from scratch.

This took me two days! In the end, I had – nay, have – 1.7 days of music, over 700 songs!

… some may consider this overkill.

But I like having plenty of music to choose from, as I set the Nano to shuffle every single time… That sounds positively boring. But I promise you, it’s not.

In fact, I’m electrified, dying for a chance to take it out for a jog or a bike ride!

… tomorrow. First thing tomorrow.

Vicky bought donuts.

(Not the ending you were expecting, was it?)

Had a great morning on the Indie Books Show...

This morning, I had a lot of fun speaking with Will Willson on the Indie Books Show. I'm including it here and I hope you enjoy it!

Popular Books Internet Radio with Indie Books on BlogTalkRadio

This month, My Side talks about Amber Alerts...

Radio de'Olde presents "Pandering"...

)

Rainy Days and Mondays…

So, I couldn’t sleep last night… I know. Old news.

But I couldn’t sleep last night and got to thinking about how it was going to be Monday and about how it has been raining and… no, it doesn’t take much to keep me awake at night.

Anyway, this reminded me of the old song: Rainy Days and Mondays. And I thought about what a random list of things that is. Rainy days and Mondays always get you down? Really? How more random can you get?

 

“Gusty evenings with late night and early morning low clouds and the third Saturday of each month gets me down.”

“Slightly overcast days – not cloudy or smoggy but just slightly overcast days and hard boiled eggs that aren’t actually hard but only slightly approaching hard – I mean like just about thirty or so seconds underdone always get me down.”

“Red and black get me down. Red and black. You have any idea how much red and black there is in the world? I wanna blow my fucking head off whenever I see an apple… at night!”

 

I’m just saying… it gets you thinking.

Keeping all these balls in the air…

Hello and welcome to the Ken La Salle blog…

Oh. Wait. Sorry. Wrong blog.

But I thought I’d talk about my writing a bit over here just in case the people in this neighborhood didn’t want to go all the way across town.

With the end of 2013, I had hoped that 2014 might be a bit busier. That more things might be going on. Because 2013 was like a tomb – by which I mean it was quiet and not that I was living with dead people.

Well, here we are in 2014 and I recall the words of the person who said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Now, I have two staged readings going on – one this weekend at Wild Rumpus in NY, if you’re in the area. I’ve been offered a couple of contracts. I have new work pouring out of me. I’m so busy, in fact, that I’ve been forced to put some projects aside. My YouTube videos, for instance, are going to be off for about a month.

I feel like an amateur juggler, wondering how I’m going to keep all those balls in the air.

But please don’t think this is a complaint. Heavens, no!

This is exactly where I wanted to be and, while it’s not the fulfillment of all of my dreams, it certainly goes a long way towards putting my neuroses at ease.

Not all of my neuroses, of course.

This might sound strange but – it looks like I’m becoming a writer. That’s so cool!

(I will never get used to this.)

An allegory for modern life?...

I was out on my morning jog this morning when something happened that got me thinking.

I was only jogging two little miles thanks to my bum foot but I’m hoping I’ll soon be jogging more. Anyway, I was on my way back, nearly halfway through the second mile, when I caught the eye of an woman walking up the street the other way. Keep in mind, she was on the sidewalk and I was in the street.

I don’t know if this woman was homeless but she certainly looked like she was facing some troubles. Everything about her was dirty. She carried several plastic bags that looked like a mess. And the way she walked was a kind of shamble.

She was about 15-20 yards away from me and, as soon as I caught her eye, she charged up to me out into the street. She puffed up her body like an ape might do to establish dominance. She even took on the same kind of stance and stride as an ape. Mostly, though, she looked bumfuck crazy. She looked like she was about to attack me or something. If she was trying to look threatening, she nailed it.

So, she charges us to me, looking very threatening, and then stopped right in front of me. I mean, she was inches away. She brought up both of her arms, with bags in tow, and thrust herself forward just the slightest bit.

I didn’t know what to do.

I mean, she startled me. I had no idea what was going on. But I also knew something was very wrong – this isn’t the kind of thing that’s supposed to happen.

So, I said, “Excuse me.”

At that moment, her eyes shifted. Before, she had been staring at my chest. Now, she looked up into my eyes and I could see the slightest spark of humanity there.

And I went on my way.

And I couldn’t help but think that’s how so many of us interact, especially online: ready to prove our dominance, ready to attack, and with no recognition for the humanity in the other person. But when we treat the other person with humanity, it can go a long way.

Certainly, it’s a better option.