Saw this today - gave me a chuckle.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Tooting my own horn
Earlier this summer I took NALA's Certified Legal Assistant Exam. I studied for over 3 months for this test. My goal was to pass it one the first try (many have to retake sections of the exam).
I committed myself to studying almost every day during that time and took the exam in July. I felt good about it, but have tried not to think much about it since then since the results would take 6-8 weeks to receive.
Well, last week I got the results...and I passed! I am now certified, and that does not mean certifiable! What does that mean? Well, hopefully it will mean bigger salaries and better positions in the future (my new job already has a better salary). Oh, and I get to use "CLA" after my name and can call myself a "Certified Paralegal".
So everyone all together now....YAY!!!!
I committed myself to studying almost every day during that time and took the exam in July. I felt good about it, but have tried not to think much about it since then since the results would take 6-8 weeks to receive.
Well, last week I got the results...and I passed! I am now certified, and that does not mean certifiable! What does that mean? Well, hopefully it will mean bigger salaries and better positions in the future (my new job already has a better salary). Oh, and I get to use "CLA" after my name and can call myself a "Certified Paralegal".
So everyone all together now....YAY!!!!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
What success really means?…
So, I was thinking about my definition of success last night… and I realized I didn’t like it.
Oh, it went a lot further than the dictionary at defining what success is but it, well, it didn’t get anywhere near the side of the barn with relation to why I wanted to write this book in the first place!
So, what was the reason? Well, because I don’t think I’m very successful and being out of work only makes that observation that much easier! And I’m not the only one. I’ve discovered that it’s more wide-spread than I originally thought, this discontentment, this angst about success.
Why is it more widespread? I think the answer lies back with Maslow and Kundalini. Meeting our most basic needs drives us to want more, to want those more ethereal achievements higher up the ladder. Am I over-simplifying this? Sure! But that’s why it’s the subject of a book. Still, I think it illustrates very clearly how this drive for success remains and how failure is so easy to find… if you’re looking.
But that bandies the term, “success”, around a lot of other things. How can it have its fingers in so many pies?
Which is when I stumbled on Definition #2.
Success is the yardstick against which we measure our lives.
Let’s repeat that: Success is the yardstick against which we measure our lives.
How do we know how we’ve measured up? How can we tell how effective we’ve been? What kind of life have we led? By our measure of success, that’s how.
Now, you can come back to me and tell me about people who lie to themselves or settle for less or don’t need such highfalutin ideas – and you’d be right. We’re playing in the kiddie pool of human nature and some piss is going to get spilled.
Still, I think that definition comes much closer to the mark, at least with regards to why I’m writing this book.
This is not a short-term project. I may be working on this for the next year… or more. I’ll keep you posted.
Oh, it went a lot further than the dictionary at defining what success is but it, well, it didn’t get anywhere near the side of the barn with relation to why I wanted to write this book in the first place!
So, what was the reason? Well, because I don’t think I’m very successful and being out of work only makes that observation that much easier! And I’m not the only one. I’ve discovered that it’s more wide-spread than I originally thought, this discontentment, this angst about success.
Why is it more widespread? I think the answer lies back with Maslow and Kundalini. Meeting our most basic needs drives us to want more, to want those more ethereal achievements higher up the ladder. Am I over-simplifying this? Sure! But that’s why it’s the subject of a book. Still, I think it illustrates very clearly how this drive for success remains and how failure is so easy to find… if you’re looking.
But that bandies the term, “success”, around a lot of other things. How can it have its fingers in so many pies?
Which is when I stumbled on Definition #2.
Success is the yardstick against which we measure our lives.
Let’s repeat that: Success is the yardstick against which we measure our lives.
How do we know how we’ve measured up? How can we tell how effective we’ve been? What kind of life have we led? By our measure of success, that’s how.
Now, you can come back to me and tell me about people who lie to themselves or settle for less or don’t need such highfalutin ideas – and you’d be right. We’re playing in the kiddie pool of human nature and some piss is going to get spilled.
Still, I think that definition comes much closer to the mark, at least with regards to why I’m writing this book.
This is not a short-term project. I may be working on this for the next year… or more. I’ll keep you posted.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
All lies? Why not?…
You know, it just occurred to me that nowhere in the Bible does it say that what is included in the Bible is the truth. Nowhere. It was just always assumed. There’s no, “And God smote him. And we’re not kidding here. This is serious stuff.” There’s not even a note at the end saying, “Oh, and by the way, this has all been true. 100% factual. Honest Injun.”
And that leads me to believe we’ve all been had.
All of us. From the Xtians to the Heeb to the Turban-head… all chumps. God’s up there laughing his eternal ass off at our expense and all his homies are all, “You fucked them up!”
Oh yeah? Well, fuck you, God. Fuck you and that smarmy little “I can hang on a cross and rise from the dead – can you?!” son of yours.
It just had to be said.
And that leads me to believe we’ve all been had.
All of us. From the Xtians to the Heeb to the Turban-head… all chumps. God’s up there laughing his eternal ass off at our expense and all his homies are all, “You fucked them up!”
Oh yeah? Well, fuck you, God. Fuck you and that smarmy little “I can hang on a cross and rise from the dead – can you?!” son of yours.
It just had to be said.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Success Redefined...
Just a few minutes after the last post and I've done some "tweaking" to the definition. This might require still further revision...
Success is a positive resolution in the process of self-definition. An action with a positive outcome, we term “success”. An action with a negative outcome, we term “failure”.
Success is a positive resolution in the process of self-definition. An action with a positive outcome, we term “success”. An action with a negative outcome, we term “failure”.
Success gets silly…
This new book has got me thinking, and that’s usually a bad thing.
The pattern I’ve set down in the last year or so has been one of constant work: write, revise, write, revise. Always working. But now, with this new book on success and its meaning, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking, trying to crack the philosophical nut so many take for granted.
And it’s led me down some odd paths. I’ve shared a few with you. Here’s another one…
Success is elusive, obviously. Not just achieving success but defining it. It’s a greasy term, a sleek weasel; it doesn’t want to be caught.
So people tend to isolate it and apply it rather discriminately. For instance, you might hear someone mention that they are successful in their career or in their “goals” or as a parent, and so on.
But even then, success works against you. It won’t be your bitch.
What’s it mean to be a success in your career? Does it mean you’ve achieved the position you want? Or that you do a good job? Or that you’re paid well? Yes? No? All? Some? The problem is that the closer you get to defining it, the farther you are from understanding it.
What if you consider yourself a success as a parent? Is it because your child is healthy? Smart? Happy? Just like you? A free thinker? Again, labels muddy things.
So, you have to draw back. I know I do. That’s the whole point of this. I spent years in that mud and I want to clear it up.
So, I was driving last night and I tried another approach. Why do we work? To get money… right?
Um, no. If work was purely utilitarian, people wouldn’t be so concerned with job fulfillment. Switch it around, you run into the same problem. It also means that you can’t apply such answers as “security” or “belonging”. The problem is that we work for more reasons than that.
And we’re back to Maslow and Kundalini.
But, rather than leave it there, I decided to keep going anyway. What other seemingly straight paths curve, mirage-like, as we get closer? I used the template, “Why do we…?” as a guide, as in “Why do we work?”
What popped immediately into my mind was, “Why do we climb mountains?” (Which is probably better phrased as “Why climb a mountain?”)
The obvious answer is, “To get to the top.”
But I realized, almost immediately that it isn’t so. There’s rarely anything on the top. We can see the top with satellites, anyway. Maybe, at one time, that reason sufficed but, now that people have already climbed all the mountains, why keep doing it? For exercise? No, you could go to the gym for that.
And, yet, people still climb mountains. Why?
And then, it occurred to me… that definition that eludes us so…
Now, before you ask, I have looked this up in the dictionary and the definitions provided there are the most horrid sort. They are:
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
Well, this doesn’t work. This would mean you couldn’t consider yourself a success until you were dead (thus the term “termination”)! No! No!
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
Success is simply getting shit? No! If it was true, it would still be incomplete – because half of gaining wealth, position, etc. is to have others see it. It would be senseless in a vacuum. But it’s not true at all because there are smaller successes in life, just as valuable – remember what it was like to be able to tie your shoes by yourself?
3. a successful performance or achievement
Any term that uses itself to define itself is hogwash. It’s as if red was defined as “something red”!
and…
4. a person or thing that is successful
See #3.
So, the dictionary was of no use at all. Success needs more to define it, and that’s what I thought I had!
Success is the action of self-definition. An action with a positive outcome, we term “success”. An action with a negative outcome, we term “failure”.
This seemed to work. Somehow, all along, I have know that Success and Failure were flips of the coin away. In addition, and unlike the dictionary definition, success does have a solitary component that goes beyond “getting things”.
But my brain wasn’t done, yet. For, after thinking about mountain climbers, it had already gone to the next step… the next question…
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Oh, lord.
Check please!
Now, the traditional answer is “To get to the other side”… though there are many others!
Still, if you look at it in terms of this new definition, you begin to see that it’s not about the other side… it’s not about the road… it’s about why anyone tries to do anything. It’s about the impulse of life, that same force that drove sperm on their monumental swim…
I'm going to have to think some more…
The pattern I’ve set down in the last year or so has been one of constant work: write, revise, write, revise. Always working. But now, with this new book on success and its meaning, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking, trying to crack the philosophical nut so many take for granted.
And it’s led me down some odd paths. I’ve shared a few with you. Here’s another one…
Success is elusive, obviously. Not just achieving success but defining it. It’s a greasy term, a sleek weasel; it doesn’t want to be caught.
So people tend to isolate it and apply it rather discriminately. For instance, you might hear someone mention that they are successful in their career or in their “goals” or as a parent, and so on.
But even then, success works against you. It won’t be your bitch.
What’s it mean to be a success in your career? Does it mean you’ve achieved the position you want? Or that you do a good job? Or that you’re paid well? Yes? No? All? Some? The problem is that the closer you get to defining it, the farther you are from understanding it.
What if you consider yourself a success as a parent? Is it because your child is healthy? Smart? Happy? Just like you? A free thinker? Again, labels muddy things.
So, you have to draw back. I know I do. That’s the whole point of this. I spent years in that mud and I want to clear it up.
So, I was driving last night and I tried another approach. Why do we work? To get money… right?
Um, no. If work was purely utilitarian, people wouldn’t be so concerned with job fulfillment. Switch it around, you run into the same problem. It also means that you can’t apply such answers as “security” or “belonging”. The problem is that we work for more reasons than that.
And we’re back to Maslow and Kundalini.
But, rather than leave it there, I decided to keep going anyway. What other seemingly straight paths curve, mirage-like, as we get closer? I used the template, “Why do we…?” as a guide, as in “Why do we work?”
What popped immediately into my mind was, “Why do we climb mountains?” (Which is probably better phrased as “Why climb a mountain?”)
The obvious answer is, “To get to the top.”
But I realized, almost immediately that it isn’t so. There’s rarely anything on the top. We can see the top with satellites, anyway. Maybe, at one time, that reason sufficed but, now that people have already climbed all the mountains, why keep doing it? For exercise? No, you could go to the gym for that.
And, yet, people still climb mountains. Why?
And then, it occurred to me… that definition that eludes us so…
Now, before you ask, I have looked this up in the dictionary and the definitions provided there are the most horrid sort. They are:
1. the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
Well, this doesn’t work. This would mean you couldn’t consider yourself a success until you were dead (thus the term “termination”)! No! No!
2. the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
Success is simply getting shit? No! If it was true, it would still be incomplete – because half of gaining wealth, position, etc. is to have others see it. It would be senseless in a vacuum. But it’s not true at all because there are smaller successes in life, just as valuable – remember what it was like to be able to tie your shoes by yourself?
3. a successful performance or achievement
Any term that uses itself to define itself is hogwash. It’s as if red was defined as “something red”!
and…
4. a person or thing that is successful
See #3.
So, the dictionary was of no use at all. Success needs more to define it, and that’s what I thought I had!
Success is the action of self-definition. An action with a positive outcome, we term “success”. An action with a negative outcome, we term “failure”.
This seemed to work. Somehow, all along, I have know that Success and Failure were flips of the coin away. In addition, and unlike the dictionary definition, success does have a solitary component that goes beyond “getting things”.
But my brain wasn’t done, yet. For, after thinking about mountain climbers, it had already gone to the next step… the next question…
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Oh, lord.
Check please!
Now, the traditional answer is “To get to the other side”… though there are many others!
Still, if you look at it in terms of this new definition, you begin to see that it’s not about the other side… it’s not about the road… it’s about why anyone tries to do anything. It’s about the impulse of life, that same force that drove sperm on their monumental swim…
I'm going to have to think some more…
Friday, September 01, 2006
More free video games!...
... even if they never existed...
Oh, sure. I'd heard that The Last Starfighter existed somewhere - but I never saw it! And what about the game that the designer in (the movie!) TRON was supposed to have created? How do you play that?!
Well, this wonderful bunch of programmers got together - AND MADE THE GAMES!
That's right. And you gotta check it out, even if just to play The Last Starfighter... which I did... and it is hard! (Which explains why Lance Guest was the only one to beat it... I guess...)
Oh, sure. I'd heard that The Last Starfighter existed somewhere - but I never saw it! And what about the game that the designer in (the movie!) TRON was supposed to have created? How do you play that?!
Well, this wonderful bunch of programmers got together - AND MADE THE GAMES!
That's right. And you gotta check it out, even if just to play The Last Starfighter... which I did... and it is hard! (Which explains why Lance Guest was the only one to beat it... I guess...)
Ken & Vicky meet ME…
Those of you who know Vicky know about her uncanny luck with winning prizes by calling into radio stations. (And now, if you don’t know her, you know that, too.)
Recently, Vicky won another prize.
She called me and asked, “What are you doing Thursday night?”
I scanned my brain for my heavy social schedule… and didn’t find one. “Nothing.”
“Good!” she exclaimed. “Then, you can go to the Melissa Etheridge concert with me!”
… curses…
So, tonight, we drove up to the Greek Theater for the concert.
I guess it didn’t help that we quarreled almost the entire way up. I can’t understand why; it’s not as though there’s any stress in our lives…
But we got there with a hasty truce and, having parked a mile away, began the hike to the theater. Vicky saw a bathroom about halfway there and began pulling me in that direction. “We’re going to be late,” I cautioned here.
She had a panicked look. “That’s fine. This is important!”
So, to the bathroom we went. It was a small shack with men’s on one side and ladies’ on the other. So, I figured I might as well drain some fluids while I was there.
I didn’t think the bathroom would be too busy. I didn’t know much about Melissa Etheridge but I did know:
* She had a baby with David Crosby.
* She was a lesbian.
* This meant she hadn’t had sex with Crosby… thus increasing my respect for her.
Thus, I surmised that the male crowd wouldn’t be anywhere nearby. And I was right – the bathroom was empty! With three stalls total, and two of them broke, there was still no line! So, I went ahead… and went.
I wasn’t surprised when someone walked in but I was surprised to see it was a woman. You’ve never seen someone shut down the valve and zip up so fast!
Walking out, I had to squeeze through the line of women who had commandeered the men’s bathroom.
About these women:
* Oh yeah… they were lesbians.
* I hadn’t seen so many lesbians since the last clearance sale at Old Navy.
* The place had more dikes that the Netherlands.
* They’d make the isle of Lesbos sink.
But I kid the politically marginalized.
When Vicky got out, I wanted to make sure she noticed. She had, adding, “And keep your voice down. I’ve seen plenty who could kick your ass.” Sure, that’s not saying much, but it would be embarrassing to explain on the nightly news.
At the ticket gate, they were checking people for cameras, which were verboten. Vicky hid her phone, because it had a camera and, once we took our seats, immediately started filming everything – not to post on the Internet(s), just to see if she could!
And speaking of our seats… the radio station sure did spring for seats… closest to the sun – we were pretty damned high up there! I won’t say we were sitting in the last row, because we were sitting in the second to the last row!
Now, I don’t know Melissa Etheridge’s music very well. Up until a few nights ago, I wasn’t aware that I’d heard some of her songs. I was just glad to see Vicky enjoying herself. As for me, while I found the music aesthetically pleasing it just didn’t speak to me. I couldn’t really relate.
Mind you, the woman has a voice of sandpaper. She’s not just the gay man’s Bonnie Raitt, she’s got a little of the gay man’s Bob Dylan or Bruce Springsteen (I still can’t decide) mixed in there. And then, there was the band. The drummer was up on a pedestal, the point of which was to keep him away from the other band. The drummer was in a permanent “time out”. The bassist looked like the lesbian love child of Stephen King and Bobby Brady… lesbian because I wasn’t sure if it was a guy or a girl… Then, the lead guitarist… this guy made sure to load up on espresso before starting. He was playing in his own, little world… freaky!
So, as I said, the music was good but I just couldn’t really relate – and that had nothing to do with the rows of lesbians dancing before us… better than I could! But there was one thing that I could relate to and helped me decide that I liked Melissa Etheridge very much. She was just so honest during her concert, and so open, I knew that I’d like her if I met her face to face. Even hundreds of yards away, she was obviously authentic.
Now to figure out what she was singing…
Recently, Vicky won another prize.
She called me and asked, “What are you doing Thursday night?”
I scanned my brain for my heavy social schedule… and didn’t find one. “Nothing.”
“Good!” she exclaimed. “Then, you can go to the Melissa Etheridge concert with me!”
… curses…
So, tonight, we drove up to the Greek Theater for the concert.
I guess it didn’t help that we quarreled almost the entire way up. I can’t understand why; it’s not as though there’s any stress in our lives…
But we got there with a hasty truce and, having parked a mile away, began the hike to the theater. Vicky saw a bathroom about halfway there and began pulling me in that direction. “We’re going to be late,” I cautioned here.
She had a panicked look. “That’s fine. This is important!”
So, to the bathroom we went. It was a small shack with men’s on one side and ladies’ on the other. So, I figured I might as well drain some fluids while I was there.
I didn’t think the bathroom would be too busy. I didn’t know much about Melissa Etheridge but I did know:
* She had a baby with David Crosby.
* She was a lesbian.
* This meant she hadn’t had sex with Crosby… thus increasing my respect for her.
Thus, I surmised that the male crowd wouldn’t be anywhere nearby. And I was right – the bathroom was empty! With three stalls total, and two of them broke, there was still no line! So, I went ahead… and went.
I wasn’t surprised when someone walked in but I was surprised to see it was a woman. You’ve never seen someone shut down the valve and zip up so fast!
Walking out, I had to squeeze through the line of women who had commandeered the men’s bathroom.
About these women:
* Oh yeah… they were lesbians.
* I hadn’t seen so many lesbians since the last clearance sale at Old Navy.
* The place had more dikes that the Netherlands.
* They’d make the isle of Lesbos sink.
But I kid the politically marginalized.
When Vicky got out, I wanted to make sure she noticed. She had, adding, “And keep your voice down. I’ve seen plenty who could kick your ass.” Sure, that’s not saying much, but it would be embarrassing to explain on the nightly news.
At the ticket gate, they were checking people for cameras, which were verboten. Vicky hid her phone, because it had a camera and, once we took our seats, immediately started filming everything – not to post on the Internet(s), just to see if she could!
And speaking of our seats… the radio station sure did spring for seats… closest to the sun – we were pretty damned high up there! I won’t say we were sitting in the last row, because we were sitting in the second to the last row!
Now, I don’t know Melissa Etheridge’s music very well. Up until a few nights ago, I wasn’t aware that I’d heard some of her songs. I was just glad to see Vicky enjoying herself. As for me, while I found the music aesthetically pleasing it just didn’t speak to me. I couldn’t really relate.
Mind you, the woman has a voice of sandpaper. She’s not just the gay man’s Bonnie Raitt, she’s got a little of the gay man’s Bob Dylan or Bruce Springsteen (I still can’t decide) mixed in there. And then, there was the band. The drummer was up on a pedestal, the point of which was to keep him away from the other band. The drummer was in a permanent “time out”. The bassist looked like the lesbian love child of Stephen King and Bobby Brady… lesbian because I wasn’t sure if it was a guy or a girl… Then, the lead guitarist… this guy made sure to load up on espresso before starting. He was playing in his own, little world… freaky!
So, as I said, the music was good but I just couldn’t really relate – and that had nothing to do with the rows of lesbians dancing before us… better than I could! But there was one thing that I could relate to and helped me decide that I liked Melissa Etheridge very much. She was just so honest during her concert, and so open, I knew that I’d like her if I met her face to face. Even hundreds of yards away, she was obviously authentic.
Now to figure out what she was singing…
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
New Jobs, No Jobs...
Vicky is particularly bad at the tooting of her own horn, so let me start off by doing that for her. She got a new job! Yeah! She'll be starting in a couple of weeks, making a bit more than she is now!
... and that's good, because we'll need it. Nope, no such luck for me. I'm still looking. (You can imagine how good I feel for her, though.)
Meanwhile, I found out I've been approved for unemployment benefits, which means I'll be getting about half of my previous salary. Things are looking up, but I wish they'd look up via gainful employment.
... and that's good, because we'll need it. Nope, no such luck for me. I'm still looking. (You can imagine how good I feel for her, though.)
Meanwhile, I found out I've been approved for unemployment benefits, which means I'll be getting about half of my previous salary. Things are looking up, but I wish they'd look up via gainful employment.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Maslow – Kundalini – Ken...
(Hey, I’ll write about the job search when I have good news, okay?!)
This weekend is when it hit me.
I was driving home from San Diego, where I’d spent a lot less time talking about success and failure than I wanted to but plenty of time thinking about it. I was on the freeway and – I reached for my phone and called Vicky.
“Do me a favor and write this down on a piece of paper so I won’t forget,” I told her. She wrote it down.
Kundalini.
Hierarchy of needs.
It was the answer.
I knew it was the answer EVEN THOUGH I had no idea what it meant.
But this is how it works with me – and I’ve learned to accept it. Things come the way they want to come and I’m no one to argue. I’ve long since accepted that I’m more a conduit than a writer.
The thing that hit me, the thing that was the answer… it was everything.
And I’ll tell you now. Oh, I’ll still write the book because, as with all stories, it’s only one small part.
What is success? Why do we fail to recognize success when it happens? I had found the answer to all of that, and more!
So, I suppose I should try to proceed more methodically so it makes some sense, shouldn’t I?
First, I suppose I should explain Kundalini… but, of course, I cannot do that with any real depth or skill…that’s why I’m writing a book and not just a blog entry. Suffice it to say, if you want to know more about Kundalini, there are better sources out there. But I’m still left with having to explain myself… so…
Kundalini is a form of yoga. The word is Sanskrit for “coiled up” and refers to centers in your body that uncoil from bottom to top and the higher up it uncoils, the closer to enlightenment you get. We, in our lives, work our way up these coils as we mature as human beings. Some do this through meditation and study, others aren’t even aware. But it’s a roadmap of sorts, pointing the way to enlightenment.
The Kundalini is divided into chakras. Each chakra illuminates where you are on the path to enlightenment or maturity. Some people would avoid using the word “maturity”; maybe “fulfillment” or “development” is better.
There are six chakras: Root, Sex, Naval, Heart, Throat, and Crown. The first three deal with achieving every day ends – obtaining food, procreation, having possessions. They are animal needs and, sadly, this is how most people busy themselves. Next, is the Heart chakra. This is the beginning of empathy for others. Throat and Crown move towards even higher goals, ending with enlightenment.
Now, I’ve studied Kundalini for years, reading books about it, hearing lectures about it, and it might be the background radiation in my mind that had led me to this new book. But what I didn’t realize is that it isn’t a strictly eastern phenomena, nor that it addresses the subject of success and failure so precisely.
There’s a western component to this, and I realized that it lies in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow was a doctor in the 1950’s, and he theorized that people are motivated by an ascending scale of needs: Physical Survival, Safety, Belonging, Esteem (or, more importantly, Respect), and Actualization. Strangely enough, Maslow was showing the same kind of ascension that the Kundalini practitioners had known for hundreds of years. The scale rose from every day needs (survival and safety), to social needs (love and respect), to even higher goals.
They are both saying, essentially, the same thing in different ways.
This has everything to do with success and failure. It explains why I’ve been so sure that success holds a certain, ethereal component, that it’s not materialistic. Because, if you have food and shelter, even if you’ve found love… there’s something missing. It’s not an eastern or western thing; it transcends that.
That explains the sense of angst that I keep running into when I discuss the concept of success with people. Because, once they start thinking about it, they realize that there’s still something out there they’ve yet to achieve… they just can’t put a name on it.
Because, after all, who thinks about enlightenment these days??? How do you even know that's the next thing you need or want when you're bombarded every day with images and sounds telling you that you can get it at the mall or on Amazon?
The angst I feel about whether or not I’m a success is actually an essential drive, which is intimated in both systems. The key, I think, is perspective. What could essentially be a positive thing, personal evolution (if you will), is turned around (in my mind and that of many others) and we call it “failure”.
Clear as mud? Probably.
But, of course, this gets even more complicated when you start thinking about social evolution and where that is taking us… anyway, I big part of the puzzle was solved. Still have to write it, of course…
This weekend is when it hit me.
I was driving home from San Diego, where I’d spent a lot less time talking about success and failure than I wanted to but plenty of time thinking about it. I was on the freeway and – I reached for my phone and called Vicky.
“Do me a favor and write this down on a piece of paper so I won’t forget,” I told her. She wrote it down.
Kundalini.
Hierarchy of needs.
It was the answer.
I knew it was the answer EVEN THOUGH I had no idea what it meant.
But this is how it works with me – and I’ve learned to accept it. Things come the way they want to come and I’m no one to argue. I’ve long since accepted that I’m more a conduit than a writer.
The thing that hit me, the thing that was the answer… it was everything.
And I’ll tell you now. Oh, I’ll still write the book because, as with all stories, it’s only one small part.
What is success? Why do we fail to recognize success when it happens? I had found the answer to all of that, and more!
So, I suppose I should try to proceed more methodically so it makes some sense, shouldn’t I?
First, I suppose I should explain Kundalini… but, of course, I cannot do that with any real depth or skill…that’s why I’m writing a book and not just a blog entry. Suffice it to say, if you want to know more about Kundalini, there are better sources out there. But I’m still left with having to explain myself… so…
Kundalini is a form of yoga. The word is Sanskrit for “coiled up” and refers to centers in your body that uncoil from bottom to top and the higher up it uncoils, the closer to enlightenment you get. We, in our lives, work our way up these coils as we mature as human beings. Some do this through meditation and study, others aren’t even aware. But it’s a roadmap of sorts, pointing the way to enlightenment.
The Kundalini is divided into chakras. Each chakra illuminates where you are on the path to enlightenment or maturity. Some people would avoid using the word “maturity”; maybe “fulfillment” or “development” is better.
There are six chakras: Root, Sex, Naval, Heart, Throat, and Crown. The first three deal with achieving every day ends – obtaining food, procreation, having possessions. They are animal needs and, sadly, this is how most people busy themselves. Next, is the Heart chakra. This is the beginning of empathy for others. Throat and Crown move towards even higher goals, ending with enlightenment.
Now, I’ve studied Kundalini for years, reading books about it, hearing lectures about it, and it might be the background radiation in my mind that had led me to this new book. But what I didn’t realize is that it isn’t a strictly eastern phenomena, nor that it addresses the subject of success and failure so precisely.
There’s a western component to this, and I realized that it lies in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow was a doctor in the 1950’s, and he theorized that people are motivated by an ascending scale of needs: Physical Survival, Safety, Belonging, Esteem (or, more importantly, Respect), and Actualization. Strangely enough, Maslow was showing the same kind of ascension that the Kundalini practitioners had known for hundreds of years. The scale rose from every day needs (survival and safety), to social needs (love and respect), to even higher goals.
They are both saying, essentially, the same thing in different ways.
This has everything to do with success and failure. It explains why I’ve been so sure that success holds a certain, ethereal component, that it’s not materialistic. Because, if you have food and shelter, even if you’ve found love… there’s something missing. It’s not an eastern or western thing; it transcends that.
That explains the sense of angst that I keep running into when I discuss the concept of success with people. Because, once they start thinking about it, they realize that there’s still something out there they’ve yet to achieve… they just can’t put a name on it.
Because, after all, who thinks about enlightenment these days??? How do you even know that's the next thing you need or want when you're bombarded every day with images and sounds telling you that you can get it at the mall or on Amazon?
The angst I feel about whether or not I’m a success is actually an essential drive, which is intimated in both systems. The key, I think, is perspective. What could essentially be a positive thing, personal evolution (if you will), is turned around (in my mind and that of many others) and we call it “failure”.
Clear as mud? Probably.
But, of course, this gets even more complicated when you start thinking about social evolution and where that is taking us… anyway, I big part of the puzzle was solved. Still have to write it, of course…
Sunday, August 27, 2006
And don't ever say I didn't give you anything...
Okay, granted, I'm currently hooked on WoW but there was once a time when the MechCommander games also had their hooks in me...
Well, it's time to hook up with those games again because they are FREE! (You know, as in FREE!)
Click the links and head on over for some old skool video game funnity!
(And, no, this isn't eye-patch-ware. MS released the code a while back and the software is safely in the pub-dom, so download with a clear conscience.)
Well, it's time to hook up with those games again because they are FREE! (You know, as in FREE!)
Click the links and head on over for some old skool video game funnity!
(And, no, this isn't eye-patch-ware. MS released the code a while back and the software is safely in the pub-dom, so download with a clear conscience.)
Friday, August 25, 2006
Second week progress…
None.
Absolutely nothing.
Is it any wonder I’m feeling a bit down?
I have an interview in a couple of hours. It’s a reach but I’m doing it because I’m desperate. The thing is, I applied for this job a month ago, which means there’s about a month turn-around between sending in a resume and getting an interview and considering that most of my applying has been in the last week… well, this could take a while.
And I don’t have a while. On Tuesday, I have a phone interview for unemployment insurance. If I get it, we will be fine for six months. The problem is, I might not. I don’t have a lot on my side.
In the event I don’t get it, I’m going to have to start applying for any job out there. Yep, we’re talking Target. We’re talking gas station, McDonalds – anything. All the time spent building my career as a writer will be shot to hell. It’s a depressing thought. No, that’s to upbeat of a term…
So, rather than sit at home thinking about that, I’m going to San Diego this weekend. I’m bringing Love of Your Life to work on the rewrites.
Let’s hope week three looks better…
Absolutely nothing.
Is it any wonder I’m feeling a bit down?
I have an interview in a couple of hours. It’s a reach but I’m doing it because I’m desperate. The thing is, I applied for this job a month ago, which means there’s about a month turn-around between sending in a resume and getting an interview and considering that most of my applying has been in the last week… well, this could take a while.
And I don’t have a while. On Tuesday, I have a phone interview for unemployment insurance. If I get it, we will be fine for six months. The problem is, I might not. I don’t have a lot on my side.
In the event I don’t get it, I’m going to have to start applying for any job out there. Yep, we’re talking Target. We’re talking gas station, McDonalds – anything. All the time spent building my career as a writer will be shot to hell. It’s a depressing thought. No, that’s to upbeat of a term…
So, rather than sit at home thinking about that, I’m going to San Diego this weekend. I’m bringing Love of Your Life to work on the rewrites.
Let’s hope week three looks better…
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The new book has begun...
There’s this painting of the Buddha. I've seen it a hundred times. In it, he’s holding a fiery sword over his head and he has the most horrific expression. It’s as though he’s ready to chop you in half and take a bite out of your spleen.
I was told once that this aspect of Buddha was meant to break through your ego, whenever your ego got in the way of your life. It’s supposed to be a frightening image, you see? It’s supposed to scare the sense into you. I could intellectualize the concept, particularly because it applies to kundalini yoga and afterlife exercises.
Well, I guess I didn’t realize how much of this was literally true here and now. I know I didn’t. The idea that my ego might be split open while I was still alive and using it didn't exactly appeal to me. And, in the summer of 2006, it wasn’t Buddha holding the blade; it was my own life.
What does this have to do with success or with Plato, for that matter? What can I tell you? It's a book! And it's going to take a few more months (or more) before I even know!
I was told once that this aspect of Buddha was meant to break through your ego, whenever your ego got in the way of your life. It’s supposed to be a frightening image, you see? It’s supposed to scare the sense into you. I could intellectualize the concept, particularly because it applies to kundalini yoga and afterlife exercises.
Well, I guess I didn’t realize how much of this was literally true here and now. I know I didn’t. The idea that my ego might be split open while I was still alive and using it didn't exactly appeal to me. And, in the summer of 2006, it wasn’t Buddha holding the blade; it was my own life.
What does this have to do with success or with Plato, for that matter? What can I tell you? It's a book! And it's going to take a few more months (or more) before I even know!
Will he get a cat?...
Turns out that the scientists of the world, a fickle lot to be sure, have demoted Pluto. It's no longer part of the solar system.
My only question is: What will Mickey do now?
My only question is: What will Mickey do now?
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